Bad words.

As usual, those on the Left are portraying themselves as champions of banned books, but not giving the facts behind the books the Right want banned -- which are only and specifically graphic sex books from kids' libraries. Seems like a reasonable ask.

On the other hand, conservatives are not the ones who subject books to diversity and sensitivity readers. These new drugs on the market are paid by publishers to read books before they go to press and flag things that might be offensive or triggering to readers. But only certain readers, as we shall see. 

Obvious ones are, of course, words insulting to ethnicities, but there's definitely a hierarchy in place. Words that have been used to insult blacks are out entirely (unless maybe if used by a black author). Even if an evil character uses the word, it cannot be allowed in print. Words offensive to Latinos face automatic ejection as well, but may not bring the ban hammer down on the author. I'm told it's all about context.) Words that insult Asians of any type may be used if important to the story. Jews and other whites (all Jews are now whites even if they aren't) are fair game. 

Wops, Micks, Dagoes, Krauts, Squareheads, Hebes, Polacks, Rednecks, Crackers, and so on -- use them all you want. And as a white guy I have no problem with that. Here's a little white secret: We use those terms on one another, even within our own families.

Some ethnic words have to go, we are told. But there are many words that you might not know are ethnically insulting that are also banned. Cakewalk, for one, has a historical background that makes it (all together now!) problematic. Master bedrooms are no more, as you may have heard. And don't talk about slaving away on a project, even for comic exaggeration, even if you had a Castilian ancestor sold into slavery by the Barbary pirates. 

Of course, insulting words about sexual orientation are right out. So is misgendering -- and this can be a bear trap for the unwary, as there are now more genders than Baskin-Robbins flavors. This also means you can't use any collective noun that implies gender -- not just the long-despised mankind but also guys as in Hey, you guys! Even ladies and gentlemen, which used to cover everyone, is insulting because it leaves out those who do not conform to either or who choose multiple genders. 

Let us not forget the words that are banned because they might offend the differently abled. Bruce Springsteen can no longer be blinded by the light; he may be dazzled or find it difficult to see but not blinded. Never mind that the light actually caused a brief loss of vision; the verb is no longer allowed. Similarly, deafening is out. Dummy is no good anymore, not because it offends the mannequin-American community, but because it was used to make fun of deaf-mutes. 

Crippled? Are you kidding? Banned for life.

What about the crazy people, you ask? Well, you are now banned for using the word crazy. Mental illness isn't funny, buster! Wacko, looney, nuts, ga-ga, all those words are problematic because insane people need love too, right up until the moment they shoot up a school. (Then it's the gun's fault, anyway.) 

Don't expect to get away on technicalities. Words that sound like banned words are also banned, even if there's no connection. A guy lost his job for using the word niggardly, which comes from Middle English and Norse (hnøggr, meaning stingy). Merriam-Webster even warns against its use -- not that it can bring itself to use the word that it sounds like. As for spick-and-span, its origin is "short for spick-and-span-new, from obsolete English spick spike + English and + span-new" -- but you'd best drop it anyway. I'm surprised KIK Consumer Products still uses the brand name Spic and Span.

🔨🔨🔨🔨🔨

Most of you know I'm a pretty nice guy, and I genuinely try to be respectful to everyone. But I'm also respectful of the idea that speech must be free, and not restricted among adults for any trivial reason, least of all because someone might get annoyed. (Christians have been getting annoyed for 2,000 years and no one worries about our feelings.) Adults have the freedom to not listen to or read something we don't like. If its very existence bothers us, we need to grow up.

I have one simple message, and if you never remember anything else I've written, I would ask you to remember this: 

Do not take seriously the claims about banning books by people who are set on banning words.

Thank you and good day!