Cryptosale!

Hello, fellow cryptocurrency investors! It's time to once again expand your portfolio by sending me your worthless, value-cratering American dollars in exchange for dynamic, upward-looking Fredcoin! Fredcoin is the only cryptocurrency that doesn't suck, and don't just take my word for it. Why, have a look at this unsolicited endorsement from famous cartoon character Nancy!

That's right, Nancy! Fredcoin is the wave of the future, and that future is not found by looking back to yesterday, but forward to tomorrow! You ever get clobbered by a wave while you were looking toward the shore? Of course you have. Knocked down, grit in your mouth, crabs biting your toes -- who needs it? Well, you can avoid all that by watching the horizon with Fredcoin! And waiting for your crypto shyp to come in! 

Why now? you ask. Why not later? Why shouldn't I just sit around and not order Fredcoin now?

Isn't that silly. There's no reason to not order Fredcoin when you could be ordering Fredcoin. It's just that simple. 

And what better time than during our pre-Halloween sale? Yes, my friends, for a limited time you can still buy Fredcoin for the same price as always, rather than waiting for those dollars to devalue some more. That could happen before our Halloween Crypt-O-Currency Bonanza, and wouldn't that be a fine trick-or-treat? So stop being patient and order today! 

As a special bonus, every order over $100 will come with a genuine e-signature by me for your NFT autograph collection. Sure to be worth something some day! 

Good thinking, little unnamed cartoon peon! Think ahead to the future with Fredcoin, and leave all other coins behind. Be like Nancy! Yell out "Me for Fredcoin!" Yell it at the bank! Yell it in the ice cream parlor! Yell it in the asylum! Yell it on the bus! Yell it at the Federal Reserve! Let everyone know that Fredcoin is the coin for you! Accept no substitutes!