Readin', 'ritin', and robots.

I was able to log on to ChatGPT. With so much yakkin' about how white-collar jobs are at risk and how the Hollywood writers are going to be replaced by AI, I figured I ought to see if I could be replaced as well. So I asked the enigmatic computer brain a question: 

"Can you generate a blog post in the style of http://vitaminfred.blogspot.com/?"

Here is what it wrote: 

Title: Exploring the Enigmatic World of Color: A Journey through Chromatic Wonders

Introduction:

Welcome, dear readers, to a delightful expedition into the captivating realm of color! Today, we embark on a visual adventure that will awaken your senses and leave you in awe of the intricate tapestry of hues that surround us. From the vivid brilliance of the morning sun to the subtle interplay of shades in a dew-kissed flower, color is an ever-present companion, enriching our lives in countless ways.

Chapter 1: The Language of Color

Before delving deeper into the wonders of color, let us first understand its language. Just like words, colors convey messages and elicit emotions. Red symbolizes passion and energy, while blue evokes tranquility and peace. Yellow radiates warmth and happiness, and green represents growth and harmony. Each color carries a unique essence, and when combined, they create a symphony that dances upon the canvas of our perception.

Chapter 2: The Science of Chromatic Splendor

While color is undoubtedly a feast for the eyes, its beauty is rooted in scientific marvels. Light waves interact with objects, absorbing and reflecting certain wavelengths, thereby producing the myriad of colors we witness. The intricate interplay of pigments, prisms, and receptors within our eyes bestows upon us the ability to perceive the kaleidoscope of the visible spectrum. From Isaac Newton's experiments with light to the modern-day understanding of color theory, science has unraveled the secrets behind this enchanting phenomenon.

Chapter 3: Colors in Cultures and Symbolism

Beyond the realm of science, color holds profound cultural significance and symbolism. Cultures across the globe assign unique meanings to different hues. In some ancient civilizations, such as Egypt and China, colors held sacred connotations associated with deities and spiritual beliefs. The symbolism of color can also be seen in contemporary society, where green signifies environmental awareness and purple represents creativity and royalty. Exploring the multifaceted tapestry of color symbolism unveils a rich tapestry of human expression and connection.

Chapter 4: Color in Art and Design

Artists and designers have long harnessed the power of color to evoke emotions and create masterpieces that stir the soul. From the vibrant strokes of Vincent van Gogh to the mesmerizing color schemes of Piet Mondrian, artists throughout history have utilized color as a primary tool for self-expression. Moreover, in the realm of design, colors play a pivotal role in shaping our perceptions and experiences. From the vibrant hues of a website to the carefully curated color palette of an interior space, color choices have the ability to influence our moods, behaviors, and overall well-being.

Chapter 5: Color Psychology: Unveiling the Hidden Impact

In addition to their aesthetic allure, colors also possess psychological implications that can impact our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Color psychology explores how different hues can influence our mood, cognition, and even physical sensations. For instance, the color blue has a calming effect, making it ideal for promoting relaxation in bedrooms or office spaces. On the other hand, restaurants often employ warm shades like red and orange to stimulate appetite and create a lively atmosphere. Understanding the subtle nuances of color psychology empowers us to craft environments that evoke the desired responses.

Conclusion:

As our vibrant voyage through the world of color comes to a close, we are left with a profound appreciation for the kaleidoscope of hues that grace our lives. From the scientific intricacies to the cultural significance, color is a language that transcends boundaries and unites humanity in its shared visual experience. So, let us embrace the beauty that surrounds us, and allow color to illuminate our world, one vibrant shade at a time.

BOR-RING! This is terrible! I hope you didn't try to slog your way through all that. What a hack job! Did it invent any information, as with lesser documents like court filings? No, I don't think so, although its statements on the topic of color and psychology range from the banal to the questionable. 

I hope I need not point out how unlike my normal blog posts this is, as well. Where are the complaints? The bad jokes? The pithiness? There's not a bit of pith. Sentences like "we embark on a visual adventure that will awaken your senses and leave you in awe of the intricate tapestry of hues that surround us" are serviceable, yes, but read like a high schooler with a thesaurus who's trying to get to a mandatory article length. I'm surprised it didn't finish Lucy Van Pelt style with "The very very very end." 

And if ChatGPT had a look at the URL I'd provided, it would have gleaned the usual topics I address. Instead of a mundane school essay on color, it would have bitched about work, chuckled over the dog, talked about food, whined about the Mets, delved into religion or books, raged against political correctness, complained about the culture in general... In short, any of my usual hobbyhorses. Instead it grabbed for a basic, boring school essay subject. 

So I don't expect AI to replace bloggers anytime soon. 

Then again, since few of us (certainly not I) make any dough at it, there's no reason to sic machine learning on the blog oeuvre. But there is money in movie scripts, so I expect AI to get involved in that. All they have to do is dumb it down enough to think like a Hollywood writer:

🎥🎥🎥

Writer 1: Okay, so then the hero goes with the chick to investigate the crime.

Writer 2: Right, but you know what would be cool? If, on his way there, the girl pulls a knife on him and tells him she knows his real name is Lars and he's a Swedish spy.

Writer 1: But it's not and he's not.

Writer 2: And they struggle, then he crashes the car through the side of a glass building, trying to stop her from stabbing him. Pow! Crash! They come out the other side, wrestling for the knife, while the car goes out of control.

Writer 1: This has nothing to do with the plot.

Writer 2: And then the car crashes through a guardrail on an overpass...

Writer 1: Designed specifically to prevent that...

Writer 2: ...with concrete and metal and glass flying everywhere! 

Writer 1: No airbag deployment?

Writer 2: And they land on the back of a semi shooting down the highway as it barely clears the overpass...

Writer: And the truck driver notices nothing. 

Writer 2: ...and while they fight the next overpass is coming up...

Writer 1: This makes no sense! It's completely stupid! It has nothing to do with anything!

Writer 2: It will look SO COOL IN IMAX!

Writer 1: ....

Writer 1: Okay, what happens next?

🎥🎥🎥

You can't tell me a chatbot is incapable of that.