Trapped in the Amazone.

My wife likes Prime Days. She stocks up her Amazon shopping cart with things that are not needed in the near future -- which, if we're getting them from Amazon, is everything -- and orders them during the sale. 

Maybe not anymore, though.

Most of the stuff she ordered arrived in a variety of packages, but one package failed to show up as expected. It was reported Lost In Transit. We know it never made it to our door, as we were home all day and we have a dog. So somewhere between northern New Jersey and here, it vanished. Poof!

Fine. So, my wife wants to get to customer service and find out what they plan to do, which for most companies would be to send a replacement. But no. She presented me with the transcript, which I present below. Note that personal and product names have been changed or removed to protect... well, me, most of all. This is my blog; she doesn't want to be tied to it. Can you blame her? (Her side of the chat in red.)

Hi, thanks for contacting Amazon. I'm Amazon's chat helper.

I'm here to answer your questions & get the right person to help you out.

As I send you messages, you can select a button to reply. Give it a try.

6:51 AM

Got it

6:51 AM

Messaging Assistant | Customer Service

OK

[VARIOUS PURCHASED ITEMS LISTED HERE]

Is this what you need help with?

6:51 AM

No, something else

6:52 AM

Messaging Assistant | Customer Service

So, what can I help you with?

6:52 AM

An item I ordered

6:52 AM

Messaging Assistant | Customer Service

Let's see. Could you select the item you're looking for from your recent orders below?

6:52 AM

[THING THAT DIDN'T ARRIVE]

6:52 AM

Messaging Assistant | Customer Service

Has it arrived yet?

6:52 AM

No, it hasn't

6:52 AM

Messaging Assistant | Customer Service

Sorry it hasn’t arrived. Give me a minute to check on this.

Looks like there’s more than one item in this shipment.

Ok, give me a moment to see what I can do.

I’ll get someone who can help with this.

6:53 AM

OK, thanks

6:53 AM

Messaging Assistant | Customer Service

Ok, you can chat with an associate now or request a call back.

You can also go to your Customer Service hub to fix most things or to search help pages. What do you prefer?

6:53 AM

Chat with an associate now

6:53 AM

Messaging Assistant | Customer Service

If you have details you think would help the associate, type them here.

An associate will join the chat.

6:53 AM

GUY has joined & will be ready to chat in just a minute.

GUY | Customer Service

Hey IZZY'S MOM, GUY here to help you.

6:54 AM

Hi GUY, I'd like to find out what's going on with an order that was never delivered. The tracking number is {NUMBER}. The site says the order is running late. It was supposed to be delivered on Thursday of last week; it was out for delivery.

6:55 AM

GUY | Customer Service

Sorry to hear that you have not received the package.

We didn't intend this to happen.

6:57 AM

Could you let me know what's going on with it? I don't want to cancel because it had a bunch of things that were at Prime Day prices.

6:57 AM

GUY | Customer Service

I see the package is lost in transit.

6:58 AM

Yes.

6:58 AM

GUY | Customer Service

Don't worry, I'll quickly escalate the issue to the shipping team.

6:59 AM

Last I could tell, it was out for delivery on Thursday from the TOWN, NJ facility. That's only about 15 minutes from my home. I really appreciate you escalating this.

6:59 AM

GUY | Customer Service

Issues like this are fixed once they have been reported.

I'm sure it will never happen again for your future orders.

7:00 AM

Thanks. That's a relief.

I appreciate your help with this.

7:00 AM

GUY | Customer Service

You're welcome.

Would you like to receive your refund as an Amazon Gift Card balance or to your original payment method?

7:01 AM

I really don't want a refund. I would like the items I purchased at the prices at which I purchased them. Can the order be refilled and sent to me?

7:02 AM

GUY | Customer Service

While we shipped your order, the inventory was provided to us by a seller and I'm not able to send you a replacement. [NOTE: According to my wife, there was no indication that any of the items ordered were coming from a third party; they seemed to be in Amazon's own inventory. But even so, why could the order not be placed again? No explanation given.]

7:03 AM

For NONE of the items? There were several things in that order.

7:04 AM

GUY | Customer Service

Yes.

7:04 AM

OK, refund it to the original payment method then, please.

Will I be sent an email from Amazon verifying all of this?

7:06 AM

GUY | Customer Service

Sure.

Refund issued successfully.

Is there anything else I can assist you with today?

7:08 AM

I would like a detailed response, please, stating Amazon will not be replacing items at the prices they advertised.

7:08 AM

GUY | Customer Service

Sure.

You'll receive an email.

My wife's request for Amazon to confirm via email that they have a policy of not replacing available items lost in transit at the price and terms at the time of purchase has not yet arrived. Go figure.

This reminds me of when Steve Jobs stepped away from Apple for a while and it started to go to hell. (Apple's doing that again now, but in a different way and for different reasons.) Maybe Jeff Bezos ought to go back to Amazon and see what's happening. Christmas is coming and they don't want to have widespread customer dissatisfaction.

But Jeff is busy with other concerns these days.  

"Ha ha, losers! Mine is the biggest!"
(Picture from New York Post)

It's tough, having your own personal aircraft carrier.