Voting test.

Friend and pest Mr. Philbin asks (I'm paraphrasing), "Why did you post that screed yesterday about efforts to get morons to vote without providing a solution?"

Well, I suppose he's right -- we can't stop Rock the Vote from trying to help idiots to go vote, let alone Google. They have a right of speech and assembly, although they and others like them would be happy to deny those rights to those who oppose them.

Aside from are commonsense fraud-prevention measures, like voter ID and requiring states to maintain updated voter rolls (and other racist! stuff like that, I know), I would suggest an exceptionally modest citizenship test for anyone who wants to vote. It would require no more than the broadest knowledge that could be gained from watching the "America Rock" section of the classic children's education series Schoolhouse Rock!, which was targeted at children of grammar-school age. Each episode is three minutes long, and there are twelve altogether (expanded from the original nine), and they explain some of our history and the reason for the structure of the government outlined in the Constitution. 

All I want is a test that would show that the voter has the slightest grasp of what the country is all about. Multiple-choice questions include things like:

1) Which document makes us a "nation of laws," meaning we have no monarch who can do whatever he wants?

a) Monroe Doctrine

b) Gettysburg Address

c) The Constitution

d) Hardee's Menu

2) What are the three co-equal branches of government?

a) Active, Passive, Aggressive

b) Executive, Legislative, Judiciary

c) Commons, Lords, Crown

d) Rich, Poor, Middle

3) In what century did adult American women win the right to vote?

a) 21st

b) 20th

c) 19th

d) 12th

4) Which is one purpose for the Electoral College as a means of choosing a president? 

a) To allow the Judiciary a voice in government.

b) To steal elections.

c) To give New Hampshire the first presidential primary.

d) To give smaller states a better chance of expressing their needs to the nation.

5) Who was the author of the Declaration of Independence?

a) Thomas Jefferson

b) B.B. King

c) Abraham Lincoln

d) Betsy Ross

Anyone who can't answer these really has no business voting,

The problem with a lot of modern elections is that our current tribalism is shattering us the way it did at the Civil War, only it's not just along state lines. We have no sense that the nation itself is important; only a demand that we get what we want from it. 

If you want to get biological about it, the orbitofrontal cortex of our brains is where we store our relative values, and if we have no ingrained sense of the "cool" values, the "hot" ones will win every time. Such as:

Cool value                                   Hot value

I want to lose weight.                   I want that doughnut!

I want to save money.                  I want to SHOP!

I want to be sober.                        Bad day and time to get my DRINK ON!

I want a strong nation.                 I want government to FIX MY [fill in blank] NOW!

I want my rights protected.         I want government to FIX MY [fill in blank] NOW!

The cool values were always taught to children and young adults by mature society; that ship has not entirely sailed, but it's down the river and heading out to sea. And young people and others who don't know all that much show it in their voting. Plus, they're being told in school that America is a big lump of crap anyway, so why not just get what you want from it?

"America Rock" could help fix this, in just twelve three-minute lessons. Then voters who pass the test can vote legally for the rest of their lives. And maybe they'd think a little better about the sacrifices and character of their ancestors as well.