Fredcoin: Perfect for school!

Greetings, cryptocurrency fans! Fred Key of Fredcoin here, reminding you that Fredcoin is the very best cryptocurrency to use when sending your offspring back to school. 

What? You didn't know that Fredcoin is better than cash for students?

Of course it is! Why, as an example, here are just some of the advantages of establishing a Fredcoin account for your college student as you send them back to that den of inebriation, STDs, and indoctrination that we call college: 

💰 You can set up the account so that no alcohol can be purchased with it. Conversely, if you're a Kennedy uncle, you can set it up so only alcohol can be purchased with it -- help the kid sow some wild oats before settling down into a doomed marriage. 

💰 You can set it up for use at the college bookstore, where Fredcoin automatically calculates the 1.5% return the kid will get when he cashes in the books at the end of the semester. 

💰 You can set it up with the college meal plan, authorizing only use on healthy foods, guaranteeing the kid will barely use the account at all. 

Only a handful of institutions of higher learning are accepting Fredcoin so far, but that's bound to change soon. Currently you can enroll your child in any of these fine schools using Fredcoin: 

🎓 Wossamotta University, Minnesota

🎓 Kay Kyser's Kollege of Musical Knowledge

🎓 University of Woolloomooloo

🎓 Starfleet Academy (at least I think that's what the application said)

So don't delay, friends! Convert those silly dollars into rock-solid cryptocurrency with Fredcoin today!