Pear-shaped.

No, the title above does not refer to my waistline, but my weekend. 

Margaret Thatcher brought the expression "go pear-shaped," as in to fail, to Americans when she used it in a meeting with President Reagan. According to the IELTS site, the origin of the phrase is uncertain. One story "goes back to 1940s when RAF pilots used to get frustrated in case their endeavour to create a phenomenal aerial route went pear shaped instead of perfectly circular. Another story is related to WWI when observational balloons wouldn’t get inflated as designed but go pear-shaped."

Non-optimal, unless you are
an actual pear

What happened was, my wife threw her back out (another odd expression) in a knitting injury. That is, she bent over to pick up her knitting bag and got a stab of terrible pain. I had to stay home all day Saturday, as there was no way she could handle Thing 1 and Thing 2 without me. She was much better Sunday, and better still today. But that shoved all my usual running around town to Sunday, and so I never had a chance to prepare anything for the site today. 

But fear not! Today we're all orange-shaped and back in business. I hope to see you all here tomorrow.