Bug off.

Man, there are so many bugs out there, I've been getting eaten up like a missionary at a cannibal convention. 

Even more annoying at the moment than the evil mosquitoes are the gnats, who like to fly into my eyes and nose and sometimes ears, making me feel like Father Delaney trying to bless the house in The Amityville Horror. 

At least these aren't biting gnats. They appear to be fungus gnats. And what are fungus gnats? 

Fungus gnats (Orfelia and Bradysia species), also called darkwinged fungus gnats (Sciaridae), are dark, delicate-looking flies similar in appearance to mosquitoes.... They eat organic mulch, leaf mold, grass clippings, compost, root hairs, and fungi.

 

So now I feel extra proud about putting down all that mulch last week.

Gnathole

Truth to tell, the gnats were extra bad this year even before the mulch event, probably because it's been so rainy. We live close to a stormwater pond, which is nice because it is built to prevent flooding, but lousy because it means there's nothing we can do to stop the bugs from multiplyin' like John Travolta's chills. I take care of any standing water around the property, of course, and use other mitigation techniques, but the bugs are too much for me in the end. 

It amazes me how much non-biting bugs can be annoying. To humans, at least. The dogs don't seem to care about the gnats. You see a cow in a field with flies all over the place, all they do is swish the tail once in a while; they don't run away, or get up on their hind legs and MOOOOO with fury. 

I remember being at a relative's cabin in the woods as a boy, and while the adults were having drinks and talking about boring adult things, I went in the yard to practice fungo hitting. It was a cool day, overcast but not rainy. As I was tossing the Wiffle ball and swinging the bat, and missing, the bugs took notice; the more I sweated, the more they closed in. The more frustrated I got and annoyed I got, the more I sweated, and the more covered in bugs. I had to give up. 

To this day, I suck at baseball. Do I blame the bugs? That would be silly. Yes, yes I do.