Space soda!

What does space taste like?

Seems like a strange question, does it not? And yet, Coca-Cola claims to have answered it with its limited edition Starlight Coca-Cola from its Coca-Cola Creations laboratory.

I bought the Zero version. My curiosity got the better of me, which shows you that I'm a sucker. For $5.99 a ten-pack of 7.5-oz. cans, you'd better believe I am. I took the hit so you don't have to. Don't say I never do anything for you. 

So, what does space taste like?

Coke says, "Inspired by space, Starlight was created with the vision that -- in a world of infinite possibilities -- somewhere in our universe, another kind of Coca-Cola, another way of connecting with each other, might exist." Okay, that's a big turd of nothing. I'm personally so sick of phrases like connecting with others that I am at the point where I would like to go to a marketing department and start connecting with others' noses with my fist. 

And the flavor? "Inspired by the infinite possibilities of space, Coca‑Cola Starlight fuses signature Coca‑Cola taste with unexpected touches, including a reddish hue and cooling taste sensation evoking the feeling of a journey to space." So, like Coke but with red dye 40.

According to Dennis Lee at food blog The Takeout, "Coca-Cola Starlight Tastes Like One Big Marketing Ploy: What do you think outer space tastes like? Coca-Cola is hoping you'll pay to find out." Yep.

Food Network reviews it positively (although mocking the marketing somewhat), saying, "if you go by this beverage, space tastes kind of like minty cotton candy sprinkled with vanilla, and has a sort of red tint. It’s pleasantly sweet and candy-like and just a bit fruity, which is excellent if that’s what you are going for. It might not be if you don’t really lean towards sweets, but in that case, you probably aren’t picking up a can of Coca-Cola anyway."

I'm drinking a can right now, and I'm not getting the minty. Definitely cotton candy. This could easily have been sold as Cotton Candy Coke without the happy Age of Aquarius-type centaur crap. It's about the color of Dr Pepper, though, so to cotton candy it up they would have had to done a more serious dye job.  

It's okay, but not that interesting. The main thing it does is make me think of one of my least-favorite ELO songs, "Starlight," from the album Out of the Blue.

According to the site Jeff Lynne Songs, Lynne conceived of the song while watching the night sky over Switzerland. Tierney Smith called it an "uncharacteristically dull ballad," and I agree. I hope that if Coca-Cola Creations takes another song title from Out of the Blue, they go with "Wild West Hero" or "Birmingham Blues" or "Across the Border." "Mr. Blue Sky" has seen quite a revival in recent years; that could work. "The Jungle" might be more their speed, with its brotherhood of animals feel. But “jungle” is a pejorative now, and Jungle Coke would undoubtedly be “problematic.” Across the Border Coke might imply tequila, but it could be okay.

For my money, "Starlight," like the soda, is a lot of sweet and not much fizz. Don’t bother with the soda unless you really dig cotton candy, minty or otherwise.