1) Would "Scarborough Fair" have been a popular song if Paul Simon had mentioned different herbs in the chorus, like Mugwort, Pokeweed, Yohimbe, and Fenugreek? Probably not.
2) Why did we become so focused on Mars in the early days of science fiction rather than Venus? Venus was often considered a twin to Earth, being rather the same size, and yet it was always the Martians causing trouble, not the Venusians. Was it because "Martian" is easier to say, being just two syllables? Or was it the so-called canals? I'll bet it was the canals.
3) What happened to the first guy who tried to ride a horse? Nothing good, I'll bet.
4) Has anyone who ever read the line attributed to Emerson, "Build a better mousetrap, and the world will beat a path to your door," ever really gone out and done it? Like, was the guy who invented baited glue traps inspired because of that line? And did the world indeed come running? I would, to shake his hand. My old apartment -- well, that's another story.
5) Cage match idea: Pillsbury Doughboy vs. Hamburger Helper's Lefty. Good fight? Bad idea? Kneads more thought?
6) Jethro Tull is not in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame but The Cure, Depeche Mode, and The Bee Gees are, and you want to tell me there's any justice in this world?
7) How can we convince young blockheads that capitalism will never die? It will exist as long as one person asks another how much he or she wants for that thing. It's like wondering when math will die.
8) Do more people know how many dimples are on a PGA golf ball or how many stitches are on an MLB baseball?
9) If Spider-Man had been named Tarantu-Lad, would Marvel Comics have survived?
10) Was singer Harry Chapin's death from an accident with a semi in Jericho, New York, karmic justice for his song "30,000 Pounds of Bananas," which made light of the death of truck driver Eugene P. Sesky?
11) If Henry VIII had stopped at, say, three wives, would he be considered not so bad after all? A lot of celebrities have shot way past that mark.
12) Where do I go to write a review of 2022? (✩★★★★ "Very lame, starts bad, would give zero stars if I could.")
Jethro Tull is in good company. The list of names of bands that have been snubbed by R&R Hall o' Fame is long: https://futurerocklegends.com/The_Snub_List/
ReplyDelete144 stitches on a baseball. I've only played putt putt golf.
ReplyDelete2020: I'm going to be a wild year.
2021: Hold my beer.
2022: Hold my worm infused tequila
2023: . . .
rbj
Geez, that snub list is pretty long. Still, it's not the ones that are left off that bug me as much as the ones that got in. There's no sense to it. Someone's getting bribed.
ReplyDeleteUS golf ball: 336 dimples (usually)
The Venusians made grammar very difficult for me. 7th grade grammar was replaced by linguistics and the accompanying text featured a Venusian who came to Earth to spread the news. Instead of nouns, verbs, adjectives, and adverbs we "learned" 1s, 2s, 3s, and 4s. Never parsed a sentence. It was a colossal failure, and the next year's 7th graders were taught regular grammar. Mine was the Lost Generation of 7th graders. How I got summa cum laude in English Lit at University still escapes me.
ReplyDelete