Wednesday, April 20, 2022

Kindly read instructions.

China -- where the Chinese Death Virus has boomeranged and causing brutal lockdowns, or perhaps is providing the excuse for some kind of mob control -- has slowed a lot of its manufacturing. This is causing all kinds of financial issues, and exposing the nation's preposterous real-estate overvaluations. One source, Zero Hedge, however, suggests that China may be slowing its factories on purpose: 

What if China is purposely shutting down its country to wreak havoc on the global supply chain even further and to exert its power over the quality of lives of the western world?... What if China wants to not only exert its influence by backing its currency, but also by keeping its production means on a tighter leash: more for the benefit of its own people, and less for the benefits of Americans exporting dollars. How would China show the rest of the world in a passive, non-confrontational way, exactly just how much power they have over our quality of life?

Well, whatever it is, I hope more stuff gets made in the United States, or at least in countries where English is not quite so foreign. If so, the instructions will be much more legible. 

Here are some recent examples I've encountered where the language is not horrible, but... off. First up, an under-sink organizer:


The problem with insserting B2 and A2 is that nothing is labeled. Plus, "Assemble the combination of steps 1 and 2" as an instruction can only yield one thought:



Fortunately this little organizer is not too tricky and could be assembled without instructions if necessary. In fact, the instructions might be more of a hinderance. 



This box contained spray bottles for oil, with stinless caps and for which oil may be sprinkled for reduced calorie (as opposed to just pouring oil in the pan, which leads to more calorie). The dimensions of the bottles are interesting, but not very helpful. The sprinkling, though, is not ensure, because after a few uses the spray head had reduced the spray to a stream. I wind up using a brush to ensure pan coverage, which I could have done without the spray bottle.  

This last one isn't so bad, but it does have an attitude I see common in the promotion of electronic products from the East:


Charge fast, live more! So many things like this are sold with the promise to bring your dull, frustrating existence from the darkness of the past into the bright adventure of the future. Power quick! Go skydiving! Meet exciting people! Eat in places with cloth napkins! Don't just sit around like an idiot, waiting for your phone to charge! 

For all your Engrish needs, I recommend the Reddit site on the topic. I never thought I would recommend anything on Reddit, but times have changed. Use Reddit to snap in place shown by the arrow! Live more! 

5 comments:

  1. These make me LOL every time (disclaimer, I am blessed with being easily amused).

    Don't miss #6 Sochi menu. https://www.boredpanda.com/funny-menu-fails/

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  2. For hours of butchered English amusement, I recommend - https://www.engrish.com

    They also have a Brog and a subsection called Chinglish.

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  3. I may have to sign up for that Brog!

    I have to say that any of their English is better than my Chinese, but sometimes it is so confusing or so hilarious....

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  4. When my wife was buying junk to give away as prizes at the amusement park, there was lots of engrish. Our favorite was for some ball toy thing that said "it floats as a shadow". I could neither confirm or deny if this was true.

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  5. Stuff made here equals $7000 iphones and $300 hammers.

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