Hero(s).

This entry isn't about heroes, really, or maybe it is. Everyone has a favorite teacher, even if one came up through the New York City public schools as I did. Mine in high school was an English teacher who, while firm about the nuts-and-bolts of reading and writing, was generous in support about essays and stories and interpretation. 

But first, a word about spelling. 

English spelling is hard, and that's a fact. I wonder how anyone ever learns it without growing up immersed in it. It features so many rules that are rock-solid until they are not, like the old i-before-e-except-after-c-and-neighbor-and-weigh... Does it even count as a rule if it has so many exceptions? And what makes C so special that it changes the i-e configuration? 

The rule that I want to mention today is the -es for plurals that end in a vowel, except when they don't. Tubas doesn't count; mercies does, although you also turn the y in mercy into an i because the word has a consonant before the y. If the word has a vowel before the y, you don't turn the y into an i, as in donkeys. Unless you do--monies is becoming more common than moneys, for example, although monkeys keeps its y. 

When a noun ends in an o, as in potato, it almost always gets an -es plural. But the same rule applies; if the word ends in a vowel + o, as in ratio, it gets no e (ratios). Thus, the plural of hero is heroes, since the letter before the o is a consonant. 

That was one plural I had down solid. I was a comic book nerd into and through and beyond my high school years (Oh, really, Fred? Who'd have guessed?) and I knew DC had the World's Greatest Heroes. So when my favorite teacher wrote heros on the board, starting a lesson on literary heroes, I pointed out the missing e.

"Heroes is spelled with an es at the end," I said.

"No it isn't," she said, looking sore at me for about the only time I can remember, and continued on with the lesson.

I was shocked, maybe more so than was worthy of the occasion. And yet, a girl I mooned after in the class, a beautiful elfin girl with almost white-blond hair, turned around in her chair to look at me and mouthed You're right! Which almost made it worth while. 

It's funny that of all the things I enjoyed in that class, that one misspelled moment sticks out in my memory the most. (And I was right; Merriam-Webster allows a lot of alternate spellings or words, as seen in a rather long article on this topic here, but only allows heroes as the plural of hero.) 

My teacher really was excellent, so much so that I would look forward to her class even if I had forgotten to do my homework. In my senior year I joined the literary magazine staff in part because she was the faculty advisor. She strongly encouraged my writing, more than anyone ever had before and -- alas! -- probably has since. But she spelled a word wrong in big letters, and may have just gotten angry because I corrected her in front of the class like the dweeb I was. 

Oh, well. I'm a better man and a better writer and editor than I would have been if I hadn't studied under her. As far as I am concerned, she'll always be one of my heroes. Or heros. Whichever she prefers.