Go. Team.

Baseball started on Friday night, and my Beloved Mets are 3-0 so far, and I couldn't be less excited. 

Yippee.

Of course, I have my reasons. I don't get enthusiastic without cause, and I don't lose enthusiasm without cause, and I expect you're the same. 

1) The Mets are injury-plagued. I've complained about this many times in the past. Our ace is already hurt in the last year of his contract (which he's indicated will be the last year with the team), and our #2 guy has a dicey hamstring. So the stage is already set for another season in the emergency room.

2) The Mets are jinxed. I swear, since 1986 they've found more and better ways to collapse at just the wrong time than any other team in baseball. The disastrous seasons under Willie Randolph (September 2007 saw two five-game losing streaks that finished them one game out of first place and out of the playoffs) were epic.

3) MLB and the players' union colluded to rob the fans. After a work stoppage -- and let's be clear, these are not starving black-lunged coal miners vs. Uncle Pennybags from Monopoly, but millionaires fighting over an $11 billion pot -- what they agreed to included:

• Significant increases to minimum salaries (need more money from the fans!)
• Significant increases to the payroll thresholds applicable under the Competitive Balance Tax, commonly called a luxury tax (need more money from the fans!)
• Amendments to the MLB draft order designed to deter tanking by teams that won't make playoffs (because the teams have to be forced to care about the fans!)
• Expanded postseason (12 teams) (more meaningless games; season ends at Thanksgiving!)
• Enhanced revenue streams through jersey and helmet sponsorships (need more money from the fans!)
• Improved benefits for former players (need more money from the fans!)

So despite the fact that, as CNN noted, "Owners have said they have been battered by shrinking attendance," the fans are going to have to shell out more, so what now -- $15 hot dogs and $20 beers? Who do they think they are, Disney World? Sorry, not taking out a home equity loan to root root root for the home team.

4) The DH has been forced on the National League. We always knew the "pansy ball" rule would happen to us, and of course it was sneaked in with no fan input. 

5) The hated ghost-runner-on-second for extra innings is hanging around like a boring houseguest. Double-headers will be nine-inning games again, though, but they'll be sure to make most of them day-night double-headers -- two admissions!

6) The convergence of showboating and "moneyball" strategies have led to truly awful baseball games. The showboating is easy to understand -- dummies swinging for the fences all the time makes for tons of strikeouts. Conversely, looking for walks all the time is just as bad. Dull and hard to watch. Changing pitchers constantly leads to burned-out bullpens and bad throwing. It's one thing to protect the starter and another to constantly blow the starter's leads.

7) If the fans haven't gotten annoyed enough yet, Apple and MLB will be putting a bunch of games on Apple's streaming-only Apple TV+, including the Mets' Friday-night win, which will help prevent the aging baseball fan from being able to watch his game on Friday nights. 

8) I don't want to get into it here, but we know the MLB is almost as woketastic as the NFL. I'm sure all us white guys love paying to be told that we're the cause of all the world's problems. Is this one of those privileges I'm supposed to check?

9) I found less annoying things to do with my time during the Chinese Death Virus shutdown than watch my cursed, injured home team stumble through dull, four-hour games on its way to folding like a dollar-store card table.  

If the Mets' luck continues, I might overlook a few of these, even the ones like #1 and #2 that mean disaster is inevitable. But the rest play into the leagues' continual disdain for the goose that lays the golden eggs. Indeed, they seem to think that the best way to get that goose to lay more eggs is to insult it and choke the living tar out of it. 

I may not be an expert in these things, but I think when you're treating the customer like a sucker, you're not supposed to be obvious about it.