Tuesday, March 22, 2022

Regrets, I've had a few.

An article in the London Sun, linked on the New York Post site, reported a hospice nurse's experience with her patients, particularly the four most regrets they have revealed to her at life's end. Julie, an American nurse, had posted her observations on TikTok. 

Julie posted the video in the hopes that people watching would take away her advice so they would not have the same regrets when looking back on their lives.
     The nurse responded to a question which asked: "What kind of regrets do you hear? I feel like in the end, everyone's going to have regrets of some sort."
     She said: "Most people at the end of their lives have regrets about not appreciating their health.
     "Not appreciating being alive, the little things.
     "Working their life away.
     "And not spending more time with family."



It's hard not to see the wisdom in that. The story continues:

From her patient's confessions, Julie has learned to "Be in the moment, live presently, be grateful, don't take for granted your health, and little things about living life.
     "Don't work your life away if you don't have to, or make it so you don't have to.
     "Spend time with those you love, not necessarily family, but those you love and make you feel loved."

Sure, that's fine. However, most of us do have to spend most of our waking hours working at something, or traveling to and from work, or working on our domiciles, or plain running errands. And that's okay, actually. Work is important to mental health. Everyone needs a purpose. If that purpose is selling Chryslers or mopping floors to feed the family, supporting ourselves independently, preaching the Gospel to save souls, or organizing charity events to help the poor, or any other honest work, that shouldn't be disparaged as a waste of time. Of course, looking back on one's life, it's easy to think about all the dull hours spent in these pursuits, but that doesn't make them useless. To me, looking at it that way disparages one's achievements, no matter if -- or perhaps especially if -- those achievements are humble.

And on that note, one of the reasons I find it hard to live in the moment is that the moment can suck. "Yay, I'm living in the moment as a proofread the most boring book in the history of books." "I'm living in the moment while I'm wiping dog hair off the toilet." "Mhmhmsm mhmsh momnbent whilemn bbrushing muh teef." Similarly, no one wants to live in the moment in the dentist's chair.  

Still, the point is taken that we shouldn't be so busy providing for others that we neglect the others. My dad and a lot of dads I knew growing up were like that. They worked like dogs and then felt like the kids hardly knew them, and vice versa. My dad even said as much once to my cousin's husband.  

Anyway, I expect I'll have all those same regrets if I linger on a deathbed rather than suffer a quick demise, like getting thrown off a cliff by an enraged author. ("How DARE you correct my speling?!" "It's 'spelling.'" "AAARGH!") 

Being a special and sensitive soul, though, I plan to have some extra regrets as well. Such as:

  • Leaving the oven on
  • Not saying goodbye to my dry cleaner
  • Leaving the car running outside the emergency room door
  • Janet Schnorbuss (forgive me, Janet!)
  • All the people I ran over on the way to the hospital
  • That time I swam naked in the fountain at Charlotte Premium Outlets and told them my name was Stiiv 
  • That awful All-You-Can-Eat Wednesday at Schnitzel's Hofbrau
  • Lying to the dog (I still had the ball, Fazzy)
  • Not buying Apple in 1999
  • Pulling Wanda's hair in class (you'd think a college senior would have a sense of humor about it though)
  • Rumple Minze -- let's leave it at that
  • Taking the Work Hard Challenge (turns out putting your nose literally to the grindstone has its drawbacks)
  • Investing in Acme Corp.
  • Swimming with electric eels at Ocean Mystery World Park
  • Reading a Tom Robbins book
  • Anvil paragliding

So many regrets, and yet, so many joys. Life! Sweet mystery of life!

5 comments:

  1. I regret paying $6 to see "Ishtar" in 1987.

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  2. You told them your name was Stiiv? As in F.S. Key? Didn't you write a famous song?

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  3. Not buying a street sweeper shotgun in 1992.
    rbj

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  4. I regret impersonating Fred when I swam in that fountain, nude. ;>

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  5. These are some profound regrets.
    -Francis Stiiv Key

    ReplyDelete