Saturday, February 26, 2022

Seasonal song.

Long-time readers of this blog (who are all smart and good-looking) may recall that I have a penchant for amusing myself with making up songs when under duress. And surely one of those times is while standing in the frigid blasts of February on the ice, waiting for not one but two dogs to find a place to weewee. They're good boys, but I think there are two issues at play here:

1) When things are suddenly covered with ice or snow, their sense of what makes a good spot is compromised; and 

2) They're both built for cold and/or rainy weather by nature and they like being outside, and they're not above dawdling to stay there.

So I started singing them a little song. In my mind it goes like a jaunty little number from a musical, maybe mid-sixties, the kind of piece that hits the audience before they get restless, and maybe becomes a standalone hit if the rest of the production bombs. And it goes like this:

🐕🐶🐕🐶🐕🐶

Let's go
Let's go out in the snow
Let's go out and go pee
It's good for you and it's good for me

We'll go
And yes, we won't be slow
What a happy chap you will be
Once you're relieved of all that pee

[bridge]
Call it urinate or micturate  
But don't you dawdle or diddle
It's freezing cold and I'm feeling old  
So buckle down, boys, and piddle

And you
You might even go poo
You might even go prance
Over the yard with a song and dance

[bridge]
A winterscape that you must escape 
But you're a most lucky fellow
The gals go marking their names in dark ink  
But you write 'em in yellow

And then
You'll be finished and when
You and I go inside
I'll warm my hide by the fireside

Then how happy we'll be
'Cause you'll have gone and gone pee. 

🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽

Hey, if this thing could have a good run in New York, why not?



No comments:

Post a Comment