Have you seen my glasses?

I have been unable to find my glasses for weeks, and it's annoying.

Fortunately it isn't worse than that. I'm mildly nearsighted, so I usually need them only for driving at night and in large areas like churches or supermarkets -- and for the latter use, the return of the mask mandates mean they fog up indoors anyway. 

Unfortunately, last week I had to drive at night in a pounding rain in an unfamiliar route because an accident blocked a street and sent me around a long detour. My wife was following in her car (long dog-related story) and I had to apologize for making us make two U-turns because I missed the signs until it was too late. 

So I'd like my glasses back. I have, however, searched everywhere with no luck. This seems to be like the last time I lost my glasses, when it appears I threw them away by accident. St. Anthony cannot help you when your lost item is in the landfill. Ditto the valet key for my car, so I am down to one car key. Also assorted books and tools and things.

My wife got tired of hearing me krex & moan about it, so she got me a Tile set for Christmas. 

The idea behind the Tile is simple, but the execution is complex. You attach one to something you lose a lot and sync it with your phone. You can use the Tile app to set off an alarm on the little Tile to find your item. Ah, but what if you left your wallet, say, in the library or in the house of ill repute? The wallet-size Tile card can show you where it is on a map. Apparently the system works not just through satellites but also through the Tile apps on phones belonging to random people passing by as well -- I'm not sure what to make of that, or even if I've summed it up properly. It sounds like using Tile drafts you into the Tile Army. But it does seem like your missing item has a much better chance of being found.

Not my glasses, though. These Tiles are too big to put on a pair of glasses. Even the little dot, which can stick to anything. I stuck it on the back of my phone, and then realized that if the phone is lost I can't locate the dot anyway. I thought I could use the Tile site online to activate the dot, but there doesn't seem to be a way to do that. Perhaps if my wife had the Tile app she could find the dot on my phone. She does not have the Tile because she doesn't lose things. 

I guess I could have put the dot in my glasses case, but I didn't lose that. 

I do appreciate the Tile, and I have misplaced my wallet and keys enough for it to be a very handy thing, especially as I march forth into decrepitude. My eye doctor swears I'll go farsighted eventually, but maybe my vision will just even out. If that's the case, I won't need to attach a Tile to my glasses, and can get on with just losing my keys as usual.