Flying pachyderm mandate.

AUGUST 15, 2057 -- This morning California Governor Hedley Skwirm signed into law the so-called Flying Pachyderm Bill, mandating that all elephants in the state of California be required to travel by flying.

"This is a great day not just for California, not just for Californians, not just for elephants, but for everyone who wants to see a flying behemoth," said the governor as xe signed the bill into law. 

The law was passed by the California Senate and Assembly over objections by the three non-Party members in the Assembly, who noted that elephants cannot actually fly or indeed be made to fly.

"Aren't those guys silly!" said Senate leader Biff Barbiekins. "This is why these unaffiliated assemblypersons must be voted out of office, just as they have been silenced on all Internet platforms. Everyone says something is impossible until we pass a law requiring it. Some people see what is and say 'Why?' We see what we want and say 'Why not?'"

According to the new law, any elephant or similar mammal must be able to become airborne under its own power no later than January 1, 2058.

"This will be another example of how the power of our collective will can defeat mere reality," said the governor. "We mandated 110 percent recycling, which required the recycling of 10 percent of landfilled garbage, and it happened. We mandated the end of gas-burning cars for clean electric power and they went away like magic. We said we could house every drug addict, mentally ill person, undocumented worker, and other transient in the world without building one new structure, plus provide free food and medical care, and we have done it. We said our state would consume no more carbon fuel or nuclear power, and we do not. We required a minimum wage of $500 an hour and it became real. Now we've decided it would be great to see elephants fly, and we will make this happen too!"

"All of those laws have been an utter disaster," said one of the assemblypersons we are not allowed to name in this news report, "and we are the laughing stock of a world that's almost as crazy as we are. None of them work and everyone lies. The entire state is delusional." The assemblyperson was then led to xer mandated re-education meeting in an unmarked wind-powered van.

"No doubters, hatemongers, or insurrectionists can defy the power of the people!" said Governer Skwirm in xer passionate closing remarks. Xe then retired to the temporary Governor's Trailer as firefighters continue to try to extinguish Sacramento.