Coffee and COVID.

If you are as caffeine-dependent as I am, or even worse as my wife is, you may be asking yourself, "Self! How does the Chinese Death Virus affect the coffee service chain? We've had multiple scares with TP and canned goods and antiseptic wipes and paper towels and so on; now as we near the anniversary of the COVID knee on our national neck, can it cause problems with my morning fix?"

Well, friends, the National Coffee Association has some answers for you. 

If you are old enough you may remember this NCA ad from 1984: 

If you don't recall it, you may be surprised to hear that in the early eighties, coffee growers and sellers were panicked that the youth market was not as addicted to coffee as their parents. So the NCA put out a series of ads using ELO's song "Hold On Tight" -- a song I have denigrated -- to encourage coffee as fuel for achievement. Next thing you know, every city in America had a shop selling $5 lattes (no one knew what a latte was in 1984), Starbucks was everywhere, a coffee shop was the setting of Friends, and all the cool kids were ordering double espresso scuros with a sprinkle of cinnamon and a shot of anchovy. So I guess it worked. 

Anyway, here are the NCA answers to some of your coffee questions, questions supplied by me: 

Are people drinking more or less of the precious fluid of life in this time of crisis?

• Just as before the pandemic, the vast majority of coffee drinkers (about 80 percent) drink coffee at home, but more than one-third miss visiting coffee shops. More than half of Americans have already returned to coffee shops or plan to do so in the next month.
   
• 75 percent of coffee drinkers say the pandemic has not changed their coffee consumption.  For those who have changed habits, the most reported change is making more coffee at home.
   
• App-based ordering, including delivery, rocketed up 63 percent amongst those who drank coffee in the last week.  Drive through ordering increased 13 percent amongst those who drank coffee each day.
   
• Consistent with measures recommended in NCA’s June 2020 COVID-19 reopening guidance, to feel comfortable and increase visits to coffee shops consumers most want to see visible precautions like workers wearing gloves and facemasks (48 percent) and mandatory facemasks for all customers (44 percent).  

Will I get COVID and die from my coffee beans or the bag?

Since the start of the coronavirus (COVID-19) public health crisis, NCA has received numerous questions about the impact the pandemic could have on coffee: Is it safe to drink? Can the coronavirus be transmitted or contracted via coffee or coffee packaging? What about the U.S. food supply in general -- is it safe?

Coffee itself has never been considered a means of coronavirus transmission, and the risk of transmitting the virus via coffee packaging is extremely low, according to the CDC.

So no matter how you buy or brew your coffee, rest assured that America's favorite beverage is completely safe to drink.

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I think we can all be relieved about this. However, if the NCA wants to start a new campaign to get people more coffee-focused, I'll be glad to sell or rent these coffee slogans I wrote to encourage more coffee consumption:

COFFEE: Because Pot May Be Legal Where You Are, But Cocaine Still Isn't

COFFEE: Because Red Bull Is a Weenie Juice Box Drink

COVFEFE: How You Spell Coffee When You Haven't Had Coffee

COFFEE: Because No One Ever Braced Himself With a Shot of Tea

COFFEE: Avocado Toast's Best Friend

COFFEE: Because People on Zoom Can Tell if You're Drinking Vodka

COFFEE: You Can Be a Coffee Achiever! You Can Sit Around the House and Watch Leave It to Beaver! The Future's Up to You -- So Whatcha Gonna Do?

Okay, I borrowed the last one from Weird Al. He can have a cut for that one. But Jeff Lynne gets no money this time.