Tuesday, July 7, 2020

Puzzle Key.

Lookit this dumb thing.


Personally, I don't believe that only 3% of adults can find the different 'KEY.' I think only 1% of adults with normal vision can fail if they take the time to do it, and that 1% is dumber than a sack of cannonballs.

When you have a name like Key, people tend to send you things like this that connect with your name. Usually jealous people, people who have spent their lives spelling out names like Protheroe or Yevdokymenko or Bhattacharyya or Constantinides or Luxuryyacht. (All real names.) (Well, almost.)

There are worst things than having the name of a common object, even if it's an object that has some bad associations, especially one known for always getting lost. In college I knew a guy named Cash, and always wondered if people were hitting him up for money. He's made of money, right? Of course some names are a lot worse, like Wiener, which seems to have been the former congressman's destiny as well as his burden (alternate spelling). On the whole, animal names like Fox or Wolf or even Buffalo would be better. Then again, I never met anyone whose last name was Chicken or Turkey.

Are you familiar with any bad object family names? Or animal names? I'm always curious about this. Not that I'm sulking over the vicious attack on the statue of my dear relative Francis Scott Key, to whom I am not related. I do think they should melt the statue down and make prison bars out of it for the people who destroy public property, That's one way to lock 'em up and throw away the Key.

I'll be curious to hear your thoughts. Meanwhile, I'll be waiting patiently in my usual spot, under the doormat.

6 comments:

  1. Not a bad object or animal, but in my area there's a road named "Crumpacker". Apparently the name of a German settler, Samuel Crumpacker. I'm familiar with "Grumbacher", maker of artist's paints and other materials; sounds like one of his tribe had the name butchered on arrival. So now it sounds like a hungry person who wolfs down the last ort of food on his plate. Or worse, if you let your mind go there! :)

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  2. Back in college, the dining queue was done by stacking IDs on a convenient table and a volunteer reading off the names when the dining hall opened. The names were not always read with religious adherence to accuracy. Messers Fuchs and Pusey were often mispronounced.

    Confess Fred. YOU are the different key, right?

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  3. On I-80 between Toledo and Cleveland, one passes Fangboner Road.

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  4. Years ago I had a customer named "Dr. Shlomo Schmuck". No joke. He had a good sense of humor, because, well, you'd have to, wouldn't you? He liked me, & would ask for me regarding any alarm-related business, & we had our little ritual:

    "Stiiv!"

    "Hiya Doctor Schmuck! How's Mrs. Schmuck & all the little Schmucks?"

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  5. At the hospital where I worked the commander was Colonel Leech. He was married and had kids.
    I had the opportunity, when working on his computer during the change of command, to be one of the first to meet not only Dr. Leech, but Mrs. Leech and all their little Leeches.

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  6. Man, there are some bad names around. And yes, Raf, I am the different key. I thought I would be harmonious but I seem to be flat most of the time.

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