Bear joyride.

Once in a while there is some news that actually makes me smile, even if I know it means someone suffered some fear, distress, or discomfort. Hell, Fear, Distress, and Discomfort could have been the name of the long-running America's Funniest Home Videos, of which I remain a fan.

The story in question this week is this one:

A (human) family’s vacation took a bizarre turn when they found out that a family of bears had infiltrated their car.
     It’s a story that sounds made up, and we have to admit we were skeptical ourselves, but there’s some pretty solid proof: photos were taken of the bears during their attempted theft.
     They’re definitely in a car, and definitely causing some mischief.

Yep.

Eventually the three bear cubs got out of the car, went to another car, and rejoined their mother nearby. So no one was harmed, and the car only suffered a small amount of ursine damage.

Naturally I imagined that the entire scenario would have gone very differently if A) the keys were in the ignition and B) they could have talked Mom into joining them.

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BEARS ON A TEAR

Carl Cub: Come on, Mom! Let's go! Look! [jingles keys]

Cal Cub: Yeah, Mom! Don't be a stick in the mud!

Carly Cub: Shotgun!

Mom: Well... all right. Just this once.

[car backs out, hits seven other cars, takes to the road]

Carly: Gangway, world! Bears comin' through!

Cal: Hey, move over to your side!

Carl: I just want to see the truck driver! Did you catch his face?

Mom: Boys, no shoving or I'll turn this car right around.

Carly: Uh-oh!

[lights flashing behind car]

Officer: Ma'am, you were a little wild back there.

Mom: Sorry.

Officer: Have you been drinking?

Mom: No, officer. Although I am a mother of three, I am only eight years old.

Officer: Very well. You drive safely and have a nice day.

Mom: Thank you.

Cal: Wow, that was a close one!

Mom: Everyone be quiet until the nice man leaves the area.

Carly: Hey, look! There's an old-fashioned map in the glove compartment!

Mom: Huh. When I was a little cub, raiding cars, I used to see them, but that was seven years ago.

Carly: Look at this! Next exit up the road -- Hunny Ⓡ Us!

Carl: Can we go, Mom? Can we huh huh huh huh huh?

Mom: Well, why not? It's such a nice day. But you have to behave. No raiding the dumpster unless I say it's all right.

Cubs: YAY!

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