Back to school? Yes? No? Maybe?

I may have already mentioned in this space the lore that my late father-in-law would torture the children by telling them that summer was half over. He did this on July 5. My wife still boils about it.

Anyway, at this point summer is half over, at least in New York, where schools normally get out toward the end of June and start up after Labor Day. Private schools and colleges may start whenever, I guess, and colleges usually start at the end of August.

So it's not too surprising to see Back-to-School stuff in the stores already. But is it really back-to-school? We know that the president has insisted all schools in the country open on time for fall semester, and most cities and states and parents wish to comply. However, whenever outbreaks of Chinese Death Virus occur, even if there are no deaths, elected authorities go pull on their Time To Get Bizzay pants and order things closed. So who the hell knows what fall with bring?

Walmart is hedging its bets.

In addition to many banks of the typical BTS stuff (lunch bags, crayons, rulers, pencils, books, everything but teacher's dirty looks) there are things like these activity books by Bendon. "Learn at home!" it tells the parents who were unexpectedly thrown into the wide world of homeschooling last spring. Probably a good idea to stock up, right? And for $1.97, how can you afford not to?

But that's just for kids up to like age seven. What about the older ones? Maybe we should have big racks of Geometry for Dummies or The Complete Idiot's Guide to Physics or Advanced French for Lazy Teens or maybe even American History by People Who Don't Hate America.  

Parents with younger kids actually need help, too, with topics like Common Core for Normal People or Help Your Child Get Good Grades without Being Indoctrinated. There's a lot of opportunity here for educational publishers who want to help, whether the kids return to school or not.

Well, best wishes to the parents and the youths, because no matter if the schools do or don't open this fall, I think you're all going to need it. Even if the Chinese Death Virus vanishes, it's going to be a long road to normal. Maybe we could even shoot for better than that while we're at it.