Dr. Prepper.

I'm no prepper. Much of that comes from spending my life in or near New York City. I always figured that if the balloon went up, I'd be an early casualty anyway. No use stocking up on canned tuna when your block looks like this:

But my error is that I did not foresee other kinds of public emergencies that could require preparation. Like a massive solar storm or EMP that knocks out the power grid and all the electronics. Or a contagious disease that quarantines everyone at home for an extended length of time.

Even if I had imagined the latter, there's no way I could have figured out exactly what to stock up on to prepare. The things one normally associates with preppers includes many items that would not have been handy to me in the current crisis -- guns and ammo, propane, hunting knives, canned milk, firewood. Instead, these are the items that I have seen myself and others in need of, things that turned out to be hard to find at one time or other in the last couple of months, or things needed for an extended home stay:

Masks
Gloves
Hand sanitizer
Hand soap
Toilet paper
Paper towels

Those we've all heard about. Then there's:

Rice
Meat
Bottled water
Pasta and sauce
Pinto beans
Soup
Italian bread crumbs (?! Walmart was totally cleaned out yesterday)
Brita filters
Eggs (although how one should save them I don't know, short of hard-boiling and pickling)
Seeds (at least in Vermont and Michigan)
Sweatpants
Booze
Self-haircutting tools
Candy
Craft supplies

Old Dr. Prepper here has learned a few things, as you can see. So I guess if there's another virus circling around China, I'd better go out and buy all of these. Of course, we can never say for sure what we'll need, and we're always in danger of getting ready to fight the last war.

But if China unleashes another damn fatal virus I think I'll look like a genius. Although that image might not hold past my first self-haircut.