Best of the quarantine!

We present today the ten best ideas (so far!) for families (and others) stuck at home together during the quarantine.

Animal Fun
Players reenact the talking-animal classic Animal Farm. Who wants to be Napoleon? Who's Boxer? Who's Benjamin? Squealer? Game continues until players get bored or mad or the counterrevolution begins.

Backseat Driver
Everyone piles into the car. The driver will turn at every intersection in the direction shouted from the backseat. Oh, the places you'll go!

Shut Up in the Backseat
Everyone still in the car. No one say a goddamn word until we get home again or else. And never contradict Mommy in front of a police officer again.

Pretend School
Mom and/or Dad, completely unprepared, will try to remember some algebra to keep their at-home students up to speed. Older kids can have fun with geometry or calculus!

A Spoonful of Sugar
Reenact the famous room-cleaning scene from the Disney classic Mary Poppins, except it's the whole house and nobody has any magical powers. And stop that singing! Here's your sponge.

Dad's on the Roof
Or is he? Dad's gone hiding on the property to drink beer. Your mission: Find him before Mommy kills him!

Pretend Naptime
You kids lie down and pretend to nap while your parents pretend to work.

Who Can Scream the Loudest?
Mom will let you know when to start playing this game, usually when she's about to go out and leave Dad in charge.

Annoy Mr. Wilson
Since you can't bug the neighbor in person, children will be challenged to pester him or her (whose name may not be Wilson) in creative ways without breaking social distancing rules.

We're a Happy Family
Convince the neighbors that you all get along 100% of the time.

That's only the top ten -- your contributions to helping the world stay sane will be appreciated, of course! Meanwhile, remember: Don't volunteer to be Boxer on Animal Fun Day.