Staff meeting: The Vision Thing.

[Twelve figures in a meeting room; one walks in and stands before them, clearing his throat to stop the chatter.]

"All right, all right, everyone, let's settle down. It's our first staff meeting, and we want to make sure we're all on the same page, right? Okay, I think I've met all of you. Of course, I'm 2020, the new CEO, and our goal is to make this the best year ever. The first thing I'd like to discuss is the promotion of the new year. The last CEO had a pretty good slogan -- 'You Say You Want a Revolution' -- but maybe a little too suggestive. I was jotting down some ideas on the way in and I like this one. Ready? '2020: Get the Vision.' Clever, don't you think? Yes, there, uh, July, is it?"

"June, sir. July's my sister."

"Oh, yes, sorry. Strong family resemblance."

"We've been told. I don't wish to sound negative, sir, but that slogan is all about the new year -- nothing about the rest of us. It sounds like of, well, yearist to me."

"Hmm... While I appreciate your input, July --"

"June, sir." 

"June, sorry... While I appreciate your input, I must remind you that when we all come together we are a year, and that's what this is all about. Not just me, you see, but all of us."

"Balderdash!"

"Excuse me?"

"It's me, August! And you may call it a team, but I call it another annus horribilis! We months never get the respect we deserve!"

Grumble grumble harrumph harrumph he's right he's a damn hothead

"All right, all right, everyone, let's table the slogan for now. What I want is for you to tell me what your plans are to make this year excellent. Would you like to begin? Yes, you in the front."

"January is the name, and I intend to be every bit as excellent in starting this year as I always am, MISTER 2020."

"Psst... Mr. 2020 -- me, March. Don't mind her. She always acts icy and mean up top, but she's hot down under."

"I, uh, noticed."

"I object! I object to this objectification!" 

Grumble grumble harrumph harrumph

"Please, please! Everyone, focus! Remember, this is not about us! This is about the people on this planet. Does anyone else have any plans?"

"Why, I do, sir, indeed I do! December here, and my oh my, I am already looking forward to my turn at the wheel. We just had a wonderful Christmas season but I think we can completely surpass it next time! I just hope, if I may say, that my colleague November doesn't elbow in again as usual."

"I object! Mr. 2020, December is completely out of line. It's not my fault she's always spilling that Christmas stuff into my space!"

"Well, if we're going to be little Mr. Norbert Nitpickers here, let me say that I don't much care for May calling herself the 'Merry Merry month' -- some of us put a lot of effort into our merriness, don't you know."

"Yeah, whatevs, Grandma."

"I, uh, dislike being confrontational -- my name is September -- but everyone seems to intrude in my space. Here I am, a pleasant month in any and either hemisphere, and yet I am neglected, shoved into seasons I don't properly belong, full of complaints about school and work. But you never hear me complain, no sir."

"All right, well, I'm sure we all have concerns, but we can work them out, have some open and friendly dialogue. Let's sit down and --"

>**FRRRAAAAAAP**<

"Who put a whoopee cushion on my chair?"

"Tee hee!"

"You're a fool, April."

"Look, I think we're off on the wrong foot here."

"Or cheek." 

BWA HA HA HA

"That's enough. I want you each to send me a report by week's end with your thoughts for this year, all right? And keep to your lanes, people; we're taking it one month at a time. Dismissed."

[2020 sighs, rubs face in hands. Mumbles, "No wonder none of the CEOs last beyond twelve months in this joint." Then he looks up, says wistfully: "2020: Get the Vision." Smiling, he sits back.]

>**FRRRAAAAAAP**<