HGTV NEWSWIRE
Discovery Communications, New York City, October 11, 2019 -- The HGTV cable network enjoyed amazing success last month with its special series, A Very Brady Renovation, in which members of the original cast of The Brady Bunch TV show helped turn the actual house that was used for exterior shots on the original 1969-1974 series into a duplicate inside of the television show's sets. Now, in our next series, HGTV uses its massive resources and limitless talent to take on an even tougher challenge: A Very Flintstone Renovation-rock!
Drew Scott of The Property Brothers made the announcement this morning at a press conference at Discovery offices in Manhattan. "There's no more iconic TV sitcom home than the one inhabited by the titular family of The Flintstones, in the town of Bedrock," he said, referring to the 1960-1966 series. "To have the opportunity to renovate this home with the rest of the HGTV family of designers is a dream come true."
"It's a wonderful project, but it has some serious challenges," said Mina Starsiak of the show Good Bones. "For one, everything in it is made of rock, except the front door. Stonework is especially expensive and difficult to install. For another, none of the appliances run on electricity; many are animal-powered or just seem to work on nothing at all. How we're going to handle that is an amazing story itself!"
Lara Spencer, star of Flea Market Flip, added, "Saber-tooth tiger lampshades and leopard curtains may be tricky. But bird record-players and can openers, mammoth showers and vacuum cleaners -- we're not just looking to match knickknacks this time!"
Matt James, former host of one of our many failed yard-based shows, added, "The Flintstone landscaping is a real nightmare. After all, prehistoric plants in strange colors are not just available down at the local garden store! We realllllly have to reach on that one! We called exotic florists, university biologists, Steven Spielberg, everyone. It was incredible!"
Jonathan Scott, the brother who does all the actual work on The Property Brothers, also noted some unusual difficulties in dealing with a cartoon house. "To make it match the interior on the television show, we needed to be able to run through the house and pass the same background objects over and over again. Well, the house appears to be no more than forty feet deep, but we'd have to be able to run for at least five hundred yards."
Scott laughed and added, "I guess back in the sixties, they just didn't worry about these things."
In a crossover episode of the Discovery Channel's hit series Fast 'n Loud, host Richard Rawlings will attempt to build the Flintstone family car and make it run without the courtesy of Fred's two feet.
As with the Brady house renovation, the producers had hoped that the original cast members would be able to participate in the renovation. Sadly, they are all dead, having passed away in the paleolithic age or something. It turned out there are surviving cast members from the 1971 Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm Show, but nobody likes that cartoon. There were two live-action Flintstones movies, released in 1994 and 2000, but that might mean working with Rosie O'Donnell, and no one wanted to take that chance.
"We don't want any unpleasantness," said HGTV president Jane Latman, "We want this to be a yabba-dabba-doo time. In fact, a dabba-doo time."
"We'll have a gay old time!" added My Lottery Dream Home's David Bromstad.
"It's a really tough reno," said Steve Ford of Restored by the Fords, speaking to reporters afterward, "but I promise you one thing -- when we're done, that cat will stay out for the night!"
As a kid, I used to wonder "who puts the cat outside for the night?"
ReplyDeleteNow we have a semi-feral neighborhood cat that likes to hang out at our house during the day but if we fall asleep while he's in the house, he'll come and wake us up at 1:30 AM demanding to be let outside.
So I find myself, like Fred Flintstone, putting the cat out each night.
I am careful that he doesn't come sneaking back in to lock me outside!
You'd think that Fred F. would have learned that after about the 1,000th time.
The neatly trimmed lawn is an anachronism. Lawns are a fairly recent (and stupid) innovation. Someone decided to give the weeds a crew cut and now keeping the intrusive fauna to less than a few inches in height is encoded into our legal system.
ReplyDeleteThe other stuff, about the record player, vacuum cleaner, etc., is OK.
@Fiendish Man, part of reason why lawns "evolved" was that clearing trees from around one's homestead made it easier to defend.
ReplyDeleteThat plus the demands of lawn tennis, lawn bowling, etc.
Also helps keep rats, mice, etc., out of the house.
May I also say that the theme song was so full of mondegreens that I had no idea what was going on when I was a kid?
ReplyDelete"Brahma! Town of Bedrock!" (The town was named for an Hindu deity and is made of bedrock?)
"They're a phase right out of history" (Captain, our temporal shields are down!)
"Through the courtesy of friends to beat" (Fred and Barney certainly had their differences, but I don't remember them dueling with their clubs.)
"Then it's kack-wah-say-a for the night" (I expect this is some indigenous North American language's way of saying "Sleep tight and don't let the bed bugs bite")
Like most people who mishear lyrics, I think my version is better!
Drew Scott's main function on the Property Brothers programs seems to be to see how tight his slacks can be without going falsetto. He adds value when his wife is part of the program. She's a looker.
ReplyDeleteMaybe they died of lung cancer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NAExoSozc2c
ReplyDeleteFrom Rich Hall, many years ago:
ReplyDeleteYABBADYMMICS (yab' uh dy nam' iks) n. Propulsive force that enables Fred Flintstone to power a stone automobile