My happy place.

Over the years I have read a lot about the benefits of meditation. Getting calm, getting centered, finding inner peace, all that crap. Sounds good, right? But it's always eluded me. 

Usually I just fall asleep. Maybe meditation only works for people who sleep well at night already. That seems unfair, since one of the supposed benefits of meditation is the ability to sleep better at night, so if I can't meditate unless I already sleep well then I really am hosed.

Then again, if it's putting me to sleep, maybe I should count it as a win after all.

One of the other big problems I've had with meditation is that annoying advice to envision someplace peaceful and calm. Like what? 

The beach? Hot sand, rip currents, sand fleas, tourists, sunburn, seagull poop. 

The forest? Ticks, wasps, hikers, ATV riders, bears.

The lake? Chiggers, Jet-Skiers, giardia, more sunburn, more ticks. 

The mountain? Snow, ice, wind, falls, avalanches, bears. 

Let's face it, nature is a terrible place to find peace. Something is always trying to eat you. Have a look at the friendly neighborhood rabbit in your backyard. How relaxed does he look?

How about someplace in civilization? The library, the park, the church? No -- they have people. You can't meditate around them.

Okay, so my happy place is my home?

No, because if I'm home I should be working, or cleaning, or fixing something, or paying the bills, or doing the dishes or the laundry, or tending to the dogs, or blah blah blah wah wah wah.

Then it struck me. Finally, I knew my happy place, the place I could envision to find an atmosphere of peace.

A nice, clean hotel room.

Hotel rooms, when they're in buildings that are built soundly and are bug-free and clean, are some of my favorite places on earth. Since my career has not required a lot of travel, I associate them with vacation, not work. They are the cool, comfortable place after a day on the Interstate.

I'm not looking to do anything in the room, neither naughty nor nice. I just want to be there. To enjoy the A/C, the free ice, knowing that if I need anything it's a phone call away. The bathroom is clean and I didn't have to clean it. The bed is made and I didn't have to make it. No animals, no kids, no bosses, no neighbors I'm sick of, nobody. Sturdy walls to keep out the noises of others. Chain and bolt and "Do Not Disturb" sign on the door. TV in the sole control of moi. Comfy chair to read in. Quiet, no responsibility, nothing that needs to be done, nothing to try to attack or crap on me.

Keep your mountaintop vista, your rolling surf, your cool glade. If I want to picture a place of solitude and peace, I'm going to imagine a well-kept hotel in a small town with cool air and quiet hallways. Ommm....