Fred's Book Club: Comma-tose.

Good day! Welcome to our second edition of Fred's Book Club, also known as the Humpback Writers, because we do this on Wednesday, not because any of them were actually Quasimodo. In fact, since I've never gotten through any Victor Hugo, we're never going to deal with Quasimodo.

This week's book is Lapsing Into a Comma: A Curmudgeon's Guide to the Many Things That Can Go Wrong in Print--and How to Avoid Them, by Bill Walsh.

As the cover notes, Bill Walsh was the copy desk chief for the business desk of the Washington Post, but I came to find him through his blog, The Slot: A Spot for Copy Editors. Lapsing was his first book, largely a compilation of information from his many years in the business, and he wrote two others on the same topic. Amazon reminds me that I bought my copy of this book in 2001, so that's how far back I went with his blog. Oddly enough, at the time I was working purely as a researcher, not as a copy cat.

Walsh's book is not, of course, a comprehensive grammar book that covers every conceivable situation. That would require a tremendous book, even bigger than the bible of the biz, the Chicago Manual of Style (although being a newspaperman, Walsh instead relied on The Associated Press Stylebook). What his book seeks to be is, in his words:

a usage manual for all writers and copy editors. While my experience is specifically as a newspaper copy editor, in a way all literate people are copy editors, whether they be writers rewriting their own work or simply avid readers noticing a typo on a cereal box.

Here are some terrific curmudgeonly tips he shares with the reader:

• Avoid identifying people as Lawrence "Larry" Horn or Robert "Bob" Smith. Pick Lawrence or Larry, Robert or Bob. Let the full reference stand with quotes on a nickname that's not just a diminutive (Carmine "The Big Ragoo" Ragusa) or one that bears no relation to the real name (William "Scott" Jones).
  
• A person with a law degree is a lawyer. A person who acts on behalf of another person is that person's attorney.... Attorney is to lawyer as rescuer is to lifeguard (hope you got that one right on the SAT). Lawyers and lifeguards fill these roles as an occupation, but lawyers don't necessarily have clients and lifeguards don't necessarily perform any rescues.
  
• HIT MAN Two words, pronounced "HIT MAN," if you're referring to a hired killer. One word, pronounced "HITman," if anybody is unfortunate enough to that it for a last name ("We've been invited to the Hitmans' for dinner!").
  
• RBI, RBIs  The style of many a sports page is to make RBI the plural of RBI: He had three RBI. Three RBI? Is that like three POW? It's silly, if well intentioned, to try to apply this kind of internal logic once you've switched from a spelled-out term to an initialism. The plural of an initialism is the initialism plus s.
  
• ROOMMATE Two m's, unless you ate a room or mated with a roo.

The sad thing about all this is that Walsh died in 2017, at the age of 55. after a tough fight with cancer. He seemed to be remembered fondly by everyone who knew him; based on his blog, the guy had a terrific sense of humor that didn't desert him through all the ups and downs of cancer treatment. I can say that one time I e-mailed him to ask if "in box" should have a hyphen or not, and he wrote back quickly to admit it hadn't come up so he didn't have a ruling on that. Webster's abridged has added it since, as in-box, so now we know.

Most copy editors are pleasant people. Some may be angry and some may have no discernible sense of humor, and some may come across as garden-variety dodos, but I have known a score of people dedicated to the craft, and have only known one who was total grade-A jerk. All the others I was happy to work with, to be friends with, and to remain friends with, even if most are people who agree with me about virtually nothing. But we agree that the semicolon goes outside the close quotes, that irregardless is an abomination, that Merriam-Webster is an important guide but has begun to play too fast and loose with the rules. On these crucial matters, we are in solidarity.

Bill Walsh struck me as that kind of man, one with a clear head for the language and a great sense of humor. In a time of magazines and newspaper failures -- not just of finances but of geniality, reason, and humor -- we need more Bill Walshes. Lapsing into a Comma is always in reach on my desk. I recommend it.