Tooth salon.

Had to find a new dentist, which is always scary. Just when you get used to the old one, something happens and you have to switch. And I'd only been going to the old one for twenty years. I was finally getting him broken in!

So I did what every idiot does; I went on social media to ask people in my geographic area for a recommendation. Then I took those names and checked them against rating sites. And all of this is stone-cold useless.

It's not that I got bad treatment. Actually, the hygienist was fine, and I think I got a good preliminary exam and a fine cleaning. And I didn't have to wait long for anything. But there were a couple of things I objected to:

1) The salon style. Seriously, this place had a row of stalls with dental chairs. It was like I had just popped in for a shave and a toothcut. Maybe this is the picture of modern dental care, but it was new to me.

2) Every booth had a TV, and they were all playing Wallykazam! Oh, sure, it was educational. I learned all about the letters S and Z, and why you shouldn't let a Borgelorp eat purple flowers. And the zombie zucchinis? Hilarious. But it was all a little wearing after a while.

The zombie zucchinis could have used a dentist, actually.

Funny, I'm old enough to remember when kids' advocates like the Comics Code Authority prohibited the use of the term zombie. But the times, they have a-changed, I guess. You have to teach the letter Z somehow.

3) The dentist spent about three minutes with me. He had examined the X-rays while I was getting my cleaning, yes. Still, I just didn't feel like he was giving me the quality of care due for a patient, the care that makes one feel like any problems have been detected. On the other hand, he also said I didn't need any work at the moment, which made me want to give him a hug. So there's that.

4) But I also never saw the dentist that had been recommended to me by name, the one I'd mentioned when I made my appointment, since you do not select your dentist at this place; you get whoever comes up in the queue.

I guess as time goes on we'll see more and more healthcare being provided this way, a factory-like atmosphere with loud cartoons. It speeds up service, lowers costs for equipment and malpractice insurance and the processing of the endless, endless paperwork ... but is it best for patients?

This setup is also a good way to hide poor doctors, slipping them onto the Wheel of Medicine. "Around and around she goes.... Oooh, you got Dr. Smerschnock! Well, maybe's he's sober today."

My current family doctor has his own practice and is an excellent physician, but he's also as old as Methuselah, and we expect him to pack it in any day now. Then what? Find a pill mill? Four booths, minimal waiting? The doctor will see you now... don't blink or you won't see him!