Super water!

Okay, so this was stupid, but I got it anyway. There's a reason.

Yes, kids, you too can enjoy a refreshing bottle of water with your favorite DC heroes! Sort of. Don't worry about Superman being neglected; he's on the other side of this package. You fans of Deadman or Brother Power the Geek are out of luck, though.

When you take out a bottle of water, it at first looks like a pretty common plastic bottle, designed at appeal to the little ones.

Or perhaps it's designed to appeal to supervillains, who can act demonstrate what they will do to the heroes when their master plans get into action:

"I WILL CRUSH YOU, CAPED
CRUSADER!"

A couple of things to note -- this package featured four different heroes on the packaging, but only three different heroes in the six pack. The total count was one Superman, two Batmans, and three REAL Captain Marvels. (Don't you dare call him "Shazam!".) I guess they are assigned randomly to the packages, but it's like a male chauvinist six pack. Woe betide the Wonder Woman fan who bought one like it, such as the many Lynda Carter devotees on the Great Lileks's comments page! Moreover, shouldn't water bottles have an Aquaman selection? The guy did have a big hit movie.

Missing a Wonder Woman meant I couldn't test her light-up logo feature. Oh, yes, this is a bottle gimmick. You can shine a flashlight through one side of the bottle, and the logo shines out the other side.

Two caveats: You have to drink the water first, or the logo is a shimmery blob; and you have to use a very small light to get any kind of definition from the logo. Coincidentally, your smartphone has a flashlight that works perfectly!

Superman is a little blurry, but it's clear.

The Bat-Signal!

Captain Marvel? Flash? Gatorade? Reddy Kilowatt?
He never did have the most distinctive symbol.

The bottles are overpriced, of course, but may get your kid -- or your middle-aged man -- to drink enough water to stay hydrated in these hot weeks. After all, how are we supposed to fight crime thirsty?