Nature!

Is there any time we appreciate the wonder of nature more than late spring? Flowers have come and gone and more have come in their path. The trees are in full bloom. Look at this big beauty! 

Isn't Nature aweso-- WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?

While walking the big dog I came across an evergreen that had any number of these icky pods with revolting tendrils coming out of them. One of these is disgusting; dozens of them are horrifying. One eighteen feet long would be a reason to call in the Marines. 

Nature makes so many things that are only saved from being Hellbeasts by lack of size or number. Seriously, if we only had a handful of dust mites around but they were as big as Buicks, we would all go around with rifles. 

Even on something simple, Nature can be gross. I had to cut a tree limb because it was covering a path; here's how the tree responded.

It sprouted a dozen little limbs like some kind of monster plant. I expect to find it reaching in the window to saw off my leg as I sleep. Maybe I should set it on fire now.

The irony is, my wife probably wouldn't find any of these things really disgusting. But this friendly, handsome chap that I found on the lawn last week? She'd scoop it in a snow shovel and catapult it over the roof, screaming all the while.

I admire people who like and study things that gross out most of us, like bugs and snakes and bacteria and those weird deep-sea fish that look like alien invaders. It's important to know about these things.

I mean, in general. I don't want to know about them. They're skeevy.