1. Thor unveils an ancient Asgardian fighting technique known as the Hyperborean Wedgie.
2. Tony Stark? Gay as old Paree.
3. Kevin Zavian on Antiques Roadshow estimates the value of the stones on Infinity Gauntlet as "Maybe two thousand bucks; there's some damage and flaws, and the color is a little wonky. But the provenance is good."
4. Rocket Raccoon is appointed to lead an important mission, known as the Raid on the Garbage Cans on Lintel Street.
5. Groot returns as a sunflower. He feels pretty.
6. Captain America admits to using anabolic steroids; the FDA promises to investigate the claims on his infomercials for Cappy's Protein Shakes.
7. Black Widow and Captain Marvel are infuriated when they show up to the apocalypse in the same outfit.
8. The Avengers' custodial force unionizes while they're gone; picket lines have formed around the building.
9. There is a secret Seventh Stone that Thanos knows nothing about. This "Plot Stone," found in a gumball machine in Peoria, nullifies the power of the other stones, allowing Ant-Man to punch Thanos out.
10. Nick Fury wakes up in the apartment he shares with Dorothy Gale and Bob Hartley and stuns them with his amazing, weird dream.
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