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To receive special e-mails with our fantastic offers and secret sales and other stuff, which you will delete until the end of your life, simply fill in the new account information.
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Enter new password

abc

Invalid password
Password must be at least 10 characters 

abcdefghij

Invalid password
Password must have at least 2 capital letters

ABcdefghij

Invalid password
Password must have at least 2 special characters (%,$,#, etc.)

ABcdefghij!! 

Invalid password
Password must have at least 2 unique special characters

You’re doing this on purpose, aren’t you?

Invalid question
Try again, dummy.

ABcdefghij!&

Invalid password
Password must contain at least 2 numbers 

Unique numbers?

I don’t know. Maybe. Give it a try.

ABcdefghij!&11

Invalid password
Password must contain at least 2 unique numbers 

Damn you!

Invalid request
Enter password

ABcdefghij!&18

Valid password

Security: Low

For better security, try mixing up letters, numbers, and special characters; using password of at least 15 characters; avoiding birthdays, anniversaries, names, addresses, and common letter combinations; avoiding passwords you use anywhere else
Do you want to re-enter password? Y/N

Y 

Enter password

WR7];WE&35*!DG&I$^&Idi8df6923846f2guDTYSDIhjahs8 exqwe6f9p2634r9ugw2cnkhwjkcy90730`74fyuwdjkcbhqw537$%@)_djk

Yeah, like you’ll remember that
Answer three prompt questions to retrieve your password when you inevitably lose it

I’m losing it now

Invalid response
Answer three of the following prompt questions 

Are you kidding?

Don’t answer questions with questions

Answer three of the prompt questions to retrieve your password when you inevitably lose it:

What is the second cat belonging to your father’s favorite sibling?

What was your favorite film in 1993?

Where were you when Niall O'Brien for Westmeath scored the first goal of the All-Ireland Senior Hurling Championship?

Who was your first grade teacher’s hobby?

What is the date of your spouse’s first sexual encounter?

What is the dominant color of your boogers?

Who is your favorite 80’s Funny Car racer?

How many jelly beans are in this jar?
 

I’m giving up Internet shopping and becoming a hermit.

Very well. You will continue to receive promotional e-mails from us until the sun is a charcoal briquette, whether you opt out or not. 

[MANY SPECIAL CHARACTERS]

Cartoon swearing is unnecessary, sir. Thank you for shopping with us.