Of eggs and loot.

I was thinking about Halloween in my childhood, having listened the other day to Larry Miller's podcast, specifically the episode "How to Egg Like a Pro." On it he shares some great Halloween memories of his childhood in Long Island. It includes the funniest egging story I've ever heard.

I never egged anything, but I did throw an apple at a bus once. I certainly remember riding home from school on a city bus and it getting thwacked with eggs a-plenty. You didn't open the window on a city bus on Halloween in those days, no matter what time it was or how pleasant the weather. City buses were egg magnets. Maybe they still are.

We never did any tricks, not really. Perhaps once, but it was incidental. That Halloween when we were much too old for trick-or-treating, I and some of my fellow knuckleheads made impromptu costumes, grabbed a large election sign off someone's lawn, and went all over the area; we would ring the bell and kneel behind the sign as if we were trying to pretend to be little. Some people thought it was funny, anyway, and we got some candy. No one got mad at us for electioneering. Late in the night one of the guys smashed a family's pumpkin, just grabbed it and hurled it into the air as we walked down the street. That was the extent of our hooliganism.

My best memories are from when I was younger, and all about the roving thuggery of candy acquisition. Eyeing other packs of kids in their finery, wondering which houses had good stuff, which ones were busts, which ones were giving out money... rain or cold, whatever weather, we went for it. I think one year we had a map of the neighborhood so we wouldn't miss a house by mistake. We were supposed to be home before sunset, so efficiency was key
-- tick-tock, people, let's move!

👻👹👺👿👾💀👸🐵

various disguises

I can't remember ever pulling a real trick on anyone. No eggs or TP or any of the usual things. I was pretty good-natured about Halloween. In fact, I've been so happy to get a full-size brand-name candy bar that I'd have left a present. "Hey, that kid in the robot costume left us a skid of Charmin."

Every year we wound up with a big sack of candy. We would gorge that night, but Mom would portion out the rest for weeks thereafter. I couldn't really tell you how much was in the haul, but it seemed like a vast amount. I wonder how much it was. 

I'm grateful to all the families in the neighborhood who took the time and trouble to buy and hand out the stuff. I'm grateful to my folks for being good about it. I guess I'm glad my father never encouraged me to do the stunts he did when he was a city kid at Halloween -- he was vague about it, but kids were 100% punks where he grew up.

It wasn't always perfect, but it was always fun, and I don't remember anyone ever getting into fights. Nuh-uh! You might bust your Ben Cooper or Collegeville mask!