Standing on rocks.

Just a brief observation today, apropos of nothing: Guys like to stand on rocks. Gals too.

I was in the dog park, with the dogs, because it's silly to go without them, and there are a bunch of trees and agility toys and water bowls and such around, and also large rocks here and there. I found myself standing on one such boulder while watching the boys. Why? Well, in the dog park it's nice to stand somewhere that you can suppose the dogs haven't pooped on, but as I reflected on this I realized I always stand on rocks. I think you do too. Standing on rocks in water is actually #15 on the list of All Instragram Photos Looking the Same.

The urge to climb on a rock, small or large, is even stronger than the urge to climb a tree. Put any male of any age, and any tomboy of any age, next to a tree, and that person is eyeing the lower branches thinking, "Maybe..." But that person is probably already standing on a rock.

Try it yourself. Throw a party this Labor Day. Move a big old boulder into the yard. Soon as things get going some boy will be standing on it. Later, some beer-powered manboy will stand on it. Further on, someone's Aunt Tillie will stand on it. This actually works even without beer, although that moves things along.

I think this urge may go back with us quite a ways.

Just gotta get on that thing.

There is something vaguely satisfying about standing on a rock, even if it doesn't improve your view at all. A king-of-the-hill feeling.

I even remember walking late at night on a jetty on the Jersey shore, happily going from slick black rock to slick black rock, until my foot went in between a couple of them and I broke my fall by slapping my hand down on a rock, hard. I'm sure it would have been more painful if I'd been sober, but in that case it wouldn't have happened. My hand swelled up some and hurt for months. It could have been worse.

I'm not one to go climbing big rocks like those knuckleheads in advertisements who are shown clinging to a cliff by one hand. I never remember what they're selling -- cars? Travel? Life insurance? I always admire how much faith they put in their helmets while dangling three hundred feet above the ground. Yeah, that'll save you.

No, I just want a nice big rock to stand on for a moment or two, and that will settle me down. Maybe a tree with really strong limbs nearby. Not too tall. Just tall enough for me to climb a ways up and yell "I'm king of the world!" Then the fire department can get me down.