What did I eat?

When you were a kid, did you ever play that game with your brain-damaged kid friends where one of you gets blindfolded and has to guess what food he's been given? No, me neither.

Some people must do it, because there are companies that want us to guess what we just put in our mouths.

Airheads is one of those candies that I believe was designed by the American Dental Association. It serves two purposes for them -- it layers a sticky shellac of enamel-decaying sugar on kids' teeth that leads to fillings, and it yanks those same fillings out years later when sentimental adults try the candy of their childhood. Those tooth guys got you coming and going.

But for our purposes today, the question is, what is the white Airheads supposed to be?

Pictured above is a spinoff candy, Airheads Bites, that I think are a little less sticky than regular Airheads bars and have the same fruit flavors. Except they both have a candy called White Mystery, a secret undisclosed flavor about which we can only guess. And guess we have.

The flavor is probably not Sasquatch.

Guesses include things like Watermelon, Blueberry, Pineapple, Cherry, Grape -- of course meaning the candy chimera versions of these flavors, not the flavors of actual fruits. People have said that the Airheads people change the mystery flavor, or that it's a combination of all the other flavors. Personally, I found the White Airheads Bite to not have a fruity flavor at all; it seemed like a combination of marshmallow and something else, maybe coconut. The mystery continues.

And in fact it gets more complex, as Talking Rain, home of the Sparkling Ice sodas, is running its own mystery flavor -- or, as they semi-crassly put it, What The Flavor?

"Mystery Fruit Flavor" says the bottle, and they've tied it to a sweepstakes. Not a contest, so you don't have to get the answer right to win. You could guess Sasquatch and have as much chance of winning as anybody. But what is the flavor?

Okay, I'll bite -- or sip.

I thought this one might be like Fresca, Coke's beloved (or behated) grapefruit soda, but it isn't. Really, I don't know what it is. Tastes citrusy, but who knows. Mangosteen? Does anyone really know what mangosteen tastes like? Sparking Ice is a lot better than Airheads at replicating fruit flavors, but there's no way to tell. Could be a combo, like their Kiwi Strawberry. Maybe it's Dragonfruit Mangosteen. Let's go with that. It sounds like a steampunk anime villain.

These companies are asking a lot of me. "Here, try this! Never mind what it is! It's a mystery! Put it in your mouth!" You wouldn't allow that with your bar pals. These outfits know I trust them because their other flavors are not horrible. But of course, the American Dental Association? Can't trust those guys at all.