Health food?

Sometimes if I'm running around and I know I will miss, or more likely, delay a meal, I might grab a protein bar to sustain me. I have no illusions; I know these are essentially candy bars with added protein. But they keep me going and keep hunger pangs at bay, so I don't feel quite so bad about it. I do, however, think that the proprietors of these candy bars ought to be more honest. 

Such as chef Robert Irvine. 

I got one of his Fit Crunch bars at Walmart. Right off the bat, we can say that nothing that tastes like birthday cake can really be good for you. And while it does have a lot of hunger-quashing protein -- 30 grams, or 60% of an adult's daily value -- it also has 16 grams of fat (21% DV), 8 grams of saturated fat (40% DV), 21% of your daily sodium, 6 grams of sugars...

"My goal is simple," says Chef Irvine on the package, "I want to empower people, through food and fitness, to thrive every day."

Okay, well.

Look, I know a lot of these kinds of things, like gorp, start off as healthy survival food and turn into calorie bombs for the indolent. You can eat these protein bars for a quick boost, but don't be convinced it's healthy eating. I sincerely doubt Irvine, famously fit himself, would eat these regularly. He might say he would, but then, he has a distant relationship with the truth. After abusing loser restaurant owners who reached out for help on Restaurant: Impossible, he wound up closing one of his own restaurants. And dumping a spouse after hitting it big, a la Alton Brown (or serial dumper Bobby Flay), doesn't speak of his willingness to put others' needs high on his list.

I'm not saying he's a real bad guy or anything; he has done some fine events for the military, and is the principal for the Robert Irvine Foundation to support military personnel and their families (although the financials don't seem impressive). Abusive or not, I'm sure his show saved some family businesses. Some folks need his variety of pants-kicking. I've enjoyed some of his TV appearances. But I will say that he's not someone who can be trusted. Expecting Fit Crunch to be a good food for fitness is an example.

As for the Fit Crunch bar itself, meh, it was okay. I did feel a little sick later that day after eating it, but I think that may have been caused by the hunger that prompted me to eat it in the first place. And I won't blame the bar for the old filling that popped out of my tooth the next day.

Anyway, never take my advice on fitness, unless it's "This doesn't work because I tried it" or "Do the opposite of what I normally do." I'm untrustworthy because I fail, not because I lie.