Apologizing for the topic.

No, seriously, I am already sorry, because today's topic involves these:

If you own a dog, you know exactly what these are for. If you dton't, you probably guessed.

We run through a lot of poop bags in our house, because a lot of things run through our dogs. Mostly, but not entirely, food things. So someone has to pick it up off the lawn, or in the park, or in the parking lot outside the PetSmart, or wherever. It's what responsible owners do. It's a gross and dispiriting work, so the poop bag manufacturers try to make the job Fun! and the finished product something you could actually look at. These bags came in a package set of colorful bag rolls -- there were light blue ones too, but we used them up first. My wife couldn't believe the pink one had little hearts.

So I pack up the poop and it goes into a sealed-tight drum in the backyard until trash day. Sometimes I have to leave the bags on the lawn until I can get them to the back, usually if I'm in a rush or if I have to get the younger dog in the house (if you take him in the back it's PLAYTIME and you'll be there for at least fifteen minutes). So as many as three or four could be sitting in the grass. When the bags are this colorful it looks like the Easter Bunny has paid us an unseasonal call and dropped off some gift bags. Yay! Easter Bunny!

Worse, though, was when I almost left some of the bags on the lawn on Halloween.

I mentioned a couple of weeks back that I am meticulous about clearing the lawn of poop on that day because I know little kids will be running straight across as a shortcut. Contrary to popular belief I am not so old that I want to a poo penalty for the kids who walk on my grass. But I did realize, with only  minutes to go before the first kids came a-schnorring, that there were some brightly colored mystery sacks on the grass by the walkway.

It played out quickly in my imagination.

"Hey, look! Goodie bags!"

"Oh, boy!"

Next morning. Early.

HAMMER ON THE DOOR

"Whuh?"

Angry Mom: "Just. What. The. HELL. Was THAT?"

"Wuz whuh?"

"The little DOG CRAP TRICK you pulled on MY KIDS!?"

"Whuuuuuh....?!"

POW (rolling pin, pepper spray, frying pan, you name it)

All that in mind, I motored.

So you see, there's a downside to bright, cheerful bags meant to contain excrement. Maybe we can all learn a lesson from this.