Goin' to the end of the line.

October 4, 2017 (Washington) -- President Trump last night to called on all Americans to "rally in the face of the Wilbury crisis that is plaguing our great nation."

"It is time to accept the grim facts," said the president on the nationally broadcast message. "Since the high point of the late eighties, a period often referred to now as 'peak Wilbury,' we have lost approximately 60 percent of this once great nomadic tribe."

The president spoke bluntly: "The recent loss of Charles T. Wilbury Jr. has struck us a blow. Having lost Lefty and Nelson years ago, we have reached the tipping point, a point between Majority Wilbury and Minority Wilbury. Sadly," he conceded, "Otis and Lucky are all we have left."

The president also expressed concerns about the weakness of the nation's "tactical Wilbury position," citing fears of a potential "Wilbury gap."

Mr. Trump's remarks were of a piece with his comments on Twitter the previous night, including, "We mourn the passing of Chaz W" and "Chuck to travel no more" and "Down to 2 Wilburys - Sad!" and "I had Lucky in the pool."

Congressional Democrats were quick to retort that America still had more than half of its full complement of Wilburys when they last occupied the White House. "Clearly, this administration has let the American people down, allowing its distractions to keep it from the crucial matter of sustainable Wilbury," said Senator Elizabeth Warren (D-MA). "A Republican was in the White House when Lefty Wilbury left us, and a Republican was in the White House when Nelson Wilbury left us," she said. "And now Chuck's gone. Does that sound like coincidence to you?"

But a White House spokesman accused the senator of playing politics with the "Stationary Wilbury situation," saying, "The only coincidence is that Republicans have held the White House for twenty of the last thirty-seven years, which means that much more time for Wilbury attrition to take place."

In his speech, however, Mr. Trump tried to strike a chord of national unity. "We need to deal with this Wilbury twist as a family," he said. "We're all very rattled today, like we've reached the end of the line, but we're not alone anymore. Sure, we feel like the devil's been busy, and we feel turned inside out by the news. But if we handle this with care, we soon will be heading for the light, and find ourselves in a cool, dry place. Godspeed, Charles T. Wilbury Jr."