10 things no guy wants to hear.

Not even this guy.

1. “How much have you had to drink tonight, sir?”

2. “You don’t remember me, do you?”

3. “You’re like a brother to me.”

4. “Wow! According to the ultrasound, your kidney stone’s a lot bigger than the last one!”

5. “I’m so glad you took the day off! You can handle the kids’ birthday party!”

6. “Dad, you remember how our car looked this morning…?”

7. “I think the house would look much better if you paint it pink.”

8. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

9. “Male pattern baldness and weight gain are very common at your age.”

10. “You’re like a father to me.”