Tale of the Tape.

[Something from the old defunct blog that I knocked off at my old office one boring afternoon. Shh, don't tell my old boss. Who's retired.]

"Stuck on You"

A Romance of Post-it® Notes

By Frederick Key

Jack was a handsome young pad-about-town, a bright and cheerful postman with plenty of stick-to-it-tiveness.

Jack had promised his parents he’d stay focused and unattached. “Just stick to the staples until you make your fortune!” they warned.  But he had gotten stuck on Prue, a charming paddette at the office.

Jack would make excuses to slip by her drawer. He loved just watching her chew her gum. “Hey, Prue,” he might say, “you’re going at a good clip today!”

She would smile and say something like, “Time to get off the stick!”

But Clive also loved Prue from afar, and was jealous of the way she clung to Jack.

“Go peddle your papers somewhere else,” he growled.

“Why so ruffled?” said Jack. “Just because Prue hasn’t noted your interest?”

“I know you don’t like me because of I'm colored,” snarled Clive.

"We're all colored," snapped Jack.

“Just know that I’m a-fix your wagon, boy. I’ll plaster you.”

“Try something and I’ll paste you one,” said Jack.

“I’ll ream you out!”

“Oh, boys,” said Prue, cutting in, “I’m going to lunch with my boyfriend, Emmet.”

“Hi,” said the very large Emmet, glaring.

“Uh, hi,” said Jack and Clive, their tempers flagging.

As Prue fluttered off with Emmet, Jack and Clive scowled at each other.

“She only likes him for his glutes,” grumbled Clive.

Jack sighed. “Lunch?”

“Sure.”

Moral: Chicks dig guys with big mucilage.