Silent Jimb.

[Another "classic" from the old Web site, placed here for your edification or at least so it doesn't get lost to time.]

"Silent Jimb"

by Frederick Key

Silent Jimb was a cheerful ladd
A most congenial chumb,
Who’d stop to share a meal with you
Or take a glass of rumb.

He had one knasty habit
(Or knifty, some might thinck)
Of obsessing on silent letters--
It could drive a man to drinck.

“I always mull it over,
It fills me to the brimn,”
He told me over a slice of hagm,
When I asked what troubled himn.

“I knever know when they are right;
It always seems a blunder.
So how I get through life this whay,
I tell you, it’s a whonder.”

“Kno man can know all things,” I said,
“And this can baffle themn.
I’m gualled to say good spelling would
To me be quighte a gemn.”

He sighed and said, “My humbdrumb life
Whould not seem such a shagm,
If I were half as smart as sometimes
Others thinck I agm.”

“Be strong!” our old pal Jon put forth,
“I no of that bad luk.
I’m haf as smart as all my frends.
I spel lik a dum cluk.”