Okay, that's enough February.

Tuesday morning I took out the trash. ("Hooray you!" you say, and I thank you for it.) I walked the can up the driveway. A light rain was falling. I spent some time with my flashlight, passing up and down the driveway edges to see if there was any dog deposits hanging around I could dispose of. Why am I sharing this?

Just bear in mind that the driveway, while damp, was fine for walking. Although it was dark, I had already taken the boys out once, and it was fine then too.

Went back inside and within five minutes the little guy had to go out again to drop a brick. Went out to the driveway and POW, right on my back. Black ice had formed within five minutes. Fell like a sack of Stooges. If I were a Hanna-Barbera character the whole frame would have shook. Hit my elbow pretty well, but not enough to break it. My hand landed on some old ice next to the driveway, and got a long, jagged, but shallow cut.

Fred badge of courage.

My wife got the treatment a couple of days back, but not from black ice; the snow that fell weeks ago is still here, but had melted and refrozen into a layer of ice on the yard. She took the dogs back there and WHAM.

So we've learned two things:

1) Although the dogs did not cause either of our accidents, they would not have happened if it weren't for the dogs, so our canine chums should be nicer to us.

2) Winter sucks.

The black ice vanished within an hour, by the way, as the temperature rose. Rained all day. So what horrible winter weather do we have for Wednesday? Sun, high of 53⁰F. Thursday? High of 31, eight inches of snow.

GO HOME FEBRUARY YOU ARE DRUNK.

One place I will not be going today is the store.

"Oh my God, get more toilet paper! THAT'S NOT ENOUGH!!!!!"

To date we've only had two snow storms bad enough to require my friend Mr. Plow to clear the driveway; also, we have yet to crack the negative numbers, with or without windchill. The electricity and heat have not gone out, knock on wood. In a lot of ways the winter has been kind to us. And yet I am still tired of the whole thing.

An acquaintance of mine retired to Florida, but comes back north from time to time to visit his kids and grandchildren. He said when he first moved down there he would see people wearing coats when it was 50 outside, and he was still walking around in shorts and a windbreaker. Now that he's been there a few years, he wears a coat when it's 50 outside.

Winter toughens us up. Doesn't stop us from complaining, though.