The dog ate my homework.

Really!

I always thought that dog-ate-my-homework was the lamest possible excuse, as bad as a note from Epstein's Mother, but it seems like there's some truth to it. Nipper, the junior varsity dog, enjoys eating paper and will do so if you give him a chance. It was not a problem three months ago, when he was the size of a large potato, but now he can actually reach the counters and desktops. Trouble! Especially on days like yesterday, when a couple of checks came for me in the mail. Put them on top of the fridge, stat!

When your dog eats paper, you have to ask yourself, is it pica? No, this is elite! Ha ha, little Selectric joke there. No, actually, I think it's the teething, combined with puppy curiosity, the constant hunger of someone growing like a weed, and a desire for attention. After all, I was working and ignoring him until he jumped up and chomped my paper, after which attention was garnered.

The senior varsity dog, Tralfaz, has never been interested in eating paper. He's more of a cardboard man. He showed interest in chewing on the corner of the Coke Zero 12-pack, and I let him because it was a cheap toy. He would just chew it up and leave it. Now he's started to swallow it, so no more cardboard. In his case it could be pica, exacerbated by anxiety about the new kid.

And the new kid causes us all a little worry. He is growing so fast, but he's growing up, too. The question is, can we get him well-behaved enough to be trusted before he gets too big for the pen, crate, and all the other means we have of keeping him out of trouble? The race is on!