As the incomparable Board Game Geek describes it:
This game attempts to mirror life events many people go through from going to college, raising a family, buying a home, working and retiring.
The intent of the game is to have the most assets at the end of the game, assets are earned primarily by working and earning tokens with dollars amount on them. Additionally the first person to complete the course gets additional money tokens.
They've made changes to the game in various editions, as inflation has raised costs and salaries, unfriendliness was reduced ("Revenge" and "Poor Farm" were changed to "Sue for Damages" and "Countryside Acres"), and, worst of all, in the new edition they let kids pick careers. The game was supposed to teach children about being a grown-up; if the careers are Badass Rap Star and NFL Quarterback, they're not going to learn much.
So that's where I'm stepping in.
Here are some new board spaces I recommend for the next edition of the Game of Life, spaces that will bring the game back to the sense of reality, what it means to be a grown-up in America now. I'm sure you'll agree they would make the game more risky and more interesting.
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| DRIVE DRUNK! Lose all turns; game over |
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| MARRY A DUGGAR Collect prizes |
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| BITTER DIVORCE Wife leaves you for woman; gets the car; move only 1 space at a time until you get over it |
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| UNDERWATER MORTGAGE Bank takes home; live in car |
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| KIDS IN COLLEGE Lose all money; collect a handful of promissory notes |
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LAID OFF!
Choose new, lower-paid career;
tell everyone it's been your dream for ages
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| JUST GIVE UP Stay home on sofa; lose about five or so turns, whatever |
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| HEAR STRANGE NOISE What's with this mansion? |
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MIDLIFE CRISIS
Buy new car; take girlfriend to Paris
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| GET INVOLVED WITH STUPID TRIVIA Waste time, lose turn |
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| UH-OH Ponzi scheme unsuccessful; game over |
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