Did not pan out.

We had to make cupcakes for a social event this weekend, and our current cupcake pans have been disappointing us. They are well made, but they were forged from dark metal, which totally screws up the baking time and temperature. Why would someone even make a pan that screws up common recipes in this time of blessed standardization? I see no advantage to it.

I was shopping in Walmart and decided to get some disposable foil pans; that would take care of this project and postpone having to drop serious dough on good, solid, light-colored pans.

Walmart has a billion products in every store... but not foil muffin tins. At least not the day I was there. But what they did have were steel 6-cup muffin tins! Made in the USA! For 88 cents each! I bought two!

Ladies and gentlemen: What you are about to see is not blood, but rust. This is the rust after one batch of cupcakes. Moreover, the rust began after the pans got damp during their initial washing, before they were even used.

I fell for the oldest trick in steel. Of course, uncoated steel rusts; stainless steel, however, doesn't. This is a problem. The 1970 Chevy Vega infamously began to rust almost as soon as it got hit with a northeastern winter. It was the car that almost took down GM; rust ruins trust.

Then again, these pans were just 88 cents each, which is actually cheaper than disposable foil pans, which are close to two bucks each (although they include baking cups). And with our paper baking cups, our cupcakes never touched the actual pans. So I actually saved money, and I still have the pans. Plus, the cupcakes came out perfect.

I don't know, though. Cheap as they are, I feel like steel should have done better than this. It sort of makes me think less of steel, sorry to say.

Not you, big guy!