Termator: Genisys.

Yep, harvest time's begun at Ol' Fred's Big Termator Ranch.

Very first 'mator of the year, by cracky.

I don't grow a lot of vegetables, actually, or anything else. I just put out a few pots. I'm not one for grubbing around in the backyard; God bless every Italian grandfather I ever knew growing up, whose little outer-borough backyard had a plot for plum tomatoes, right by the bocce court and the aboveground pool. Amazing what they could squeeze into a small chain-link fenced yard.

But no, I've never been temped to turn up the soil for a vegetable garden, because then I would have to go to total war against the bugs. And worse, the critters and varmints. We do have our share.

Rabbits, groundhogs, deer, skunks, field mice, coyote, and bears have been spotted around here, and any of them could make hash of a garden in minutes. So that adds another layer of effort to the process---fencing, repellents, traps. And even then your more motivated animal might win through. So you blast it to hell with your Elmer Fudd weaponry and you feel terrible for killing Peter Rabbit. Or you might. I feel terrible probably because I shot my foot off.

So I'll be content with a handful of tomatoes and red peppers, grown on the deck or porch. If the government says I have to start a Victory Garden to help whip our enemies in World War III, I'll take the fight to the critters and varmints, but not before. I like having two feet.