The Dog answers your questions.

Dear Tralfaz:

My dog is a picky eater. How can I get him to eat his food?

--Concerned

Dear Concerned:

My vet says I could live on treats, or at least that's what I hope she said. So give your dog lots of treats. If he throws up, that's okay; he won't mind. In fact, he may just eat it all again. If he gets fat your vet will blame you for not exercising him enough, and your dog won't mind that either. Win-win!

--Tralfaz

Dear Tralfaz:

What does it mean when my cat hisses at me? She doesn't bite or anything.

--Curious

Dear Concerned:

The situation you describe is very serious. It indicates that you have a cat. I suggest you rectify this at once by removing the cat and getting a dog. He will be your faithful chum, and he will never hiss at you, I promise.

--Tralfaz

Dear Tralfaz:

My dog always go nuts when the mailman comes by. I'm afraid he would bite the guy if he had a chance! What can I do?

--Unnerved

Dear Unnerved:

Clearly there is a problem with this mailman. Dogs are excellent judges of character. Have you considered that he may be an enemy agent? Or maybe a dangerous man who kills lots and lots of people? Maybe you should consider moving. Trust your dog.

--Tralfaz

Dear Tralfaz:

My naughty puppy doesn't come when he's called. How can I correct his misbehavior?

--Upset

Dear Upset:

Is it perhaps that your puppy doesn't come because of your attitude? Hmm? Negative words like "naughty" tell me that you're mad with your furbaby, and don't think he doesn't know it. Perhaps you could give him treats when he comes to you. In fact, you should give him treats pretty much all the time. And praise, lots of praise. And toys. And rub his belly. What doggie wouldn't come to someone like that?

--Tralfaz

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Got a question for the Dog? Write in care of this author and we'll see if he answers it or chews it.