Hours away from Talk Like Slip Mahoney Day!

June 2 is the day that the great Leo Gorcey died in 1969, and we honor him tomorrow with the second annual Talk Like Slip Mahoney Day. So when you're out and about on Tuesday, make sure to use your broad Noo Yawk accent, act tough and mean when you're angry (and panicked when you're scared), and work in those malapropisms as often as you can.

The character Slip Mahoney from the Bowery Boys films was known for his colorful misuse of large words, and as I acknowledged last year, it can be hard to zing one out without proper preparation. Gorcey had screenwriters, and Mrs. Malaprop from The Rivals had Richard Brinsley Sheridan, but you'll have to make do on your own. Bear in mind that you can make near words---words that are not quite in the dictionary but A) sound like the word that is meant and B) have a comic effect.

Here's a few I've concocted to get you started, complete with accent:

• "We need ta use a block and cackle on dis job."
• "I owe some money ta de Infoirnal Revenue Soirvice."
• "I'm very intelligent. I'm known for my condensation."
• "No need to be so elephantic about it!"
• "Sure, I eat meat. I ain't no veterinarian."
• "It's like dat story, 'Da Pit an' da Pandemonium.'"
• "Of course I'm a patriot! I'm a absolute libertine!"
• "We nevah give up. We're known for our tendinitis."
• "I love your abalone hair, your porcine skin."

"Tanks to dis jack pot, we're positively effluent!"

Remember that Slip was often trying to sound smart and sophisticated, so you may want to pull the double trick of doing a froufrou accent as if your natural accent is New Yorkese. That's advanced Slip.

Will people look at you funny? Dat's the idear! As with dat pirate day in September, if you dress the part people will depreciate what you'se doin'. More on dat tomorrow.