Mow down.

Mowing the lawn in August is a most unrewarding task.

I've waxed philosophic on lawns many times. I've waxed philosophic on lawns more often than I've ever waxed cars or waxed floors.

Mowing in the late spring seems to come around every two days, but when you're done everything looks great.* In August? Unless you've got a sprinkler system---or one sprinkler and a tiny patch of grass---and you don't might large water bills, by mid August the grass has pretty much packed it in, it's dormant, it's dead, it's done, it's gone on holiday and is singing "See You in September." But the weeds are humming right along. So August mowing is a matter of leveling the weeds so they are the height of the dead grass. When you're done stick a toothpick in yourself and if it comes out clean, you're done too.

My next house is going to have one sprinkler and a tiny patch of grass, and I'm going to hire a guy with a lawn tractor to mow it while I sit inside and loll about like Rich Uncle Pennybags. Tractor Guy can paint my white picket fence, too.

*For two days.